As I previously wrote about, one of my goals is to use the time I spend in the car in beneficial and intentional ways. It is far too easy to think of the car time as inconsequential and therefore to fritter it away. One of my priorities when I drive is to use the time to invest in and strengthen my marriage. Here’s how.
Prayer
Spending extended time in prayer in the car may seem odd to some, but for me it is a great opportunity to consider what my husband has going on that day and to ask for God’s wisdom and grace to infiltrate his life. If I know he has an important meeting or a difficult conversation, I will pray specifically for God to work in those circumstances. My time in the car is also a great opportunity for me to reflect on the type of spouse that I am and to ask God for His help in specific areas that I know could use improvement. During these times of reflection, God has graciously shown me ways in which I have sinned and have not shown the kind of sacrificial love to my spouse that is reflective of the love Christ has demonstrated to me. Many prayers of repentance and requests for help in my sanctification have been uttered in the car.
It is not only when I am by myself that I pray for my husband. I also strive to pray for my husband with my kids. This not only helps them see their father in a different light, but it also helps me demonstrate to them a vital practice that I hope they adopt someday – intentional and specific prayers for their spouse.
Plan
My husband and I live full lives and sometimes the time we spend driving to date nights are our first solid moments of interrupted time in a given week. Because my personal preference is not to spend date night on logistical or administrative issues, we will often do this on the drive to where we are going. We will talk about upcoming family events or budgeting adjustments we need to make. I know other couples who prefer more dedicated time to have these discussions, but for us, unless it is some out of the ordinary or extremely significant, our date night drives are a great time to plan.
I also find it helpful to use the time in the car to plan how I might be more of a help and a blessing to my spouse. In the busyness of the day, sometimes it is difficult to take time to think about what events are coming up in my husband’s life and what I might do to help his days go more smoothly. However, a car ride to Costco allows me to do just that. I find that I must commit to using this time for that purpose prior to getting in the car; otherwise, it is far too easy to let the time slip away and focus on what I have going on in my life, rather than thinking of how I can bless my husband in what he has going on in his.
Learn
Much like we use the time to make plans, my husband and I can use the time we are in the car together to learn more about each other. Long car rides are especially good for this, as we can share everything from childhood memories to hopes and dreams for the future. However, even a short trip can be beneficial in this regard if we are strategic about our conversations. We may discuss something as mundane as how the work week went, to something more serious like an area that has been a challenge with one of our kids, It is these “learning” conversations that often fuel our subsequent prayer and planning times.
It is easy to think of our driving time merely as time that is spent getting to our next destination However, if we are purposeful with how we use it, it can become so much more. Our marriage can be strengthened, and we can become a better spouse as result of the time we spend praying, learning, and planning as we commute.
