The men of Israel sampled their provisions but did not inquire of the LORD. – Joshua 9:14
I am terrible at expressing myself. Or maybe that’s not exactly true. I’m pretty good at expressing my opinion on things, but I’m not very good at expressing anything that might be self-revelatory. It’s why my co-workers instigated “Share Time with Natalie”. I am so bad at talking about myself that they figured if they interrogated me every Monday morning, I would become a little more proficient. It’s worked on some levels – and I’m forever grateful to them for that.
One of the main reason I’m so reluctant to express my feelings is because I figure that if someone acts they realize they ramifications of those actions including the potential to hurt my feelings. There seems little reason to mention something that seems so obvious to me, so instead of questioning what happened, I swallow my feelings and say it doesn’t matter. It happened just today and despite the therapeutic nature of this blog, I still can’t bring myself to ask the person if they realize what they did.
And I think it’s the same for a lot of what happens in the world. We make so many assumptions about the cause of things based on our own experiences and perceptions. Rarely does this single-handedness take into account all the factors pertaining to a given circumstance. We do the same with God. We assume that when things happen, it must be the work of His hand, and so we make decisions based on that perception.
Sometimes, however, things happen that are contrary to God’s plan for our lives. We perceive presence as acknowledgment of an open door, but it could be the exact opposite. And instead of stopping and ask God for His wisdom, we proceed on our own ignorance, and suffer the consequences as a result.
My feelings would probably be saved a lot of heartache if I was more willing to pause in a situation and talk with someone about what’s happening. Going along like it doesn’t matter has never turned out well for me. When the Israelites acted like God’s opinion didn’t matter, it didn’t turn out well for them either. There’s probably a lesson in that for all of us.
