Purpose

Advantage, Them

Humans are, if nothing else, master justifiers. We are great at coming up with excuses and explanations for why we do the things we do. We must have learned this from our forefathers – after all Adam started the trend in the Garden of Eden and Eve quickly followed suit. Even when we know something is generally wrong, we try to explain why it is specifically right for us.

Christians aren’t exempt from this proclivity. We tend to add an extra layer of perceived holiness to our excuses when we twist Scripture to support our bad choices. Perhaps no Scripture is more abused in this arena than Paul’s proclamation in I Cor. 9:22b. “I’ve become all things to all people” has been repeatedly misused as a lame excuse to justify sinful choices.
The reason this misapplication happens so easily, is the same reason that most misinterpretation of Scripture occurs. We fail to read the entire passage. If we did so, we would read:
“I have become all things to all people, that by all means I might save some. I do it all for the sake of the gospel, that I may share with them in its blessings.” (I Cor. 9:22b-23, emphasis added.)
Later, Paul continues on the same topic when he writes,
“just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved.” (I Cor. 10:33, emphasis mine)
Did you notice that last bit? We tend to use this verse to substantiate why we can do the things that we want to do, but that wasn’t Paul’s motivation. He did it so that it might benefit other people. In other words, the advantage wasn’t going to Paul but to the people he was ministering to. It wasn’t about getting what he wanted, but giving them what they needed. And what they needed was Christ.
It’s the same motivation that should drive our decisions. We should ask ourselves whether what we want to do brings someone closer to Christ? Is this beneficial to their walk with God and not just a fulfillment of our desires? Does the advantage go to them or is it about us?
Our focus shouldn’t be on attempts to justify why we should be getting the things we want, and doing what we want to do. Instead we should adjust our lives in such ways that as a result, “many will be saved.”
What do you think? Why are we tempted to misappropriate these verses to justify doing what we want to do?
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Relationships

A Model Spouse

Years ago there were TV ads by Nike that featured Michael Jordan and encouraged viewers to try to be like the NBA legend, starting with wearing the same shoes as he did. It was a popular commercial at the height of his celebrity, and it had a strong appeal. After all, people recognized that if you want to be like someone the first thing to do is the same things they are doing.

The same lesson is often applied in reverse. As a leader, one of the first things you learn is to do what you say and to say what you do. You quickly understand that your followers will emulate how you act, not simply acquiesce to what you command. Therefore, if you want a certain behavior to take hold, then you need to start doing it. Your followers will soon conform, and in the process become more like you.

While this is a significant thing to consider when it comes to organizational leadership, perhaps it is even more worthy of consideration when it comes to our marriages. One of the things I most appreciate about my husband is that he is the type of person that I desire to resemble more. As he leads our small family, as he serves in the church, as he works unto the Lord, he displays characteristics that I wish were more true of me. And this is a good thing. Because just as “bad company corrupts good character” (I Cor. 15:33), good company has the reverse effect (Prov. 13:20). And there’s no one that I’m in the company of more than my spouse.

This, however, brings up two additional considerations. The first is this –  if you aren’t yet married, as you consider perspective mates, are you thinking about whether or not they are the type of person that you would like to become? Without fail, we begin to emulate the behaviors and tendencies of those we associate most with. Is your perspective spouse someone that you would aspire to be like? If not, than in all likelihood, they are not a spouse that God desires for you. After all, God desires for us to become more holy, more like Him. If the person we want to marry would detract from this purpose, than they are likely not God’s best for our lives.

The second thing to consider is, for those who are married – am I acting in such a way that I would want my spouse to emulate? Regardless of how final decisions are reached in the home, there are probably at least some areas in each of our relationships where one of us has more experience, more natural proclivities, more history, or more knowledge – whether it’s decorating the home or deciding which car to purchase. As we engage in these things, are we acting in such a way that as our spouse “learns” from us, we hope that they will act the same? In other words, are we being the type of person that a godly spouse could rightly desire to become more like?

Because, for better or worse,  they will.

 

Now it’s your turn….who do you know that’s done a good job of being a “model” spouse? How did that effect their marriage?

 

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