When I was in a college and took a sales class, the professor said something that I have never forgotten. As anyone who has tried to sell something knows, one of the greatest obstacles to success is getting past people’s default “no thanks” response. In a corporate environment, the salesperson often first encounters this resistance at the reception desk. This is problematic as it is hard to make your pitch to decision makers if you can’t get pass the lobby. “Ask for help” my professor advised. “People like to help others and if you ask the person to help you, you have secured yourself an ally.”
While it is important not to use this technique manipulatively (this would be highly detrimental to your Christian witness and to your long-run effectiveness as a salesperson), I have found over the years that my professor was right. People do like to help. And asking others to assist you is a wonderful way to partner with someone in pursuit of a common outcome.
There are times, however, when we see the need for help and we want to provide the requisite assistance but we seemed to have difficulty doing so. This is especially likely to happen when the need is obvious and well-known. A family in the church suffers tragedy, and our hearts go out to them and we want to do what we can to assist, but we don’t know the family well and they seemed to be surrounded by people who are providing care. A friend of a friend is going through a tough time and our sympathies incline us to act, but our ties to them are tangential; we aren’t nearly close enough to reach out directly. We hear of a need for a child at our kids’ schools, and while we have the means to meet it, we aren’t sure of the method for doing so. And the list goes on.. Our compassion compels us to want to assist, but because we aren’t sure how, we dismiss our inclination, say a quick prayer, and move on – feeling sympathy for the situation but never doing anything about it.
As we face these situations in life, my encouragement is to consider that there may be times where you can’t provide direct assistance, but you can help those who are. For example, when one of my closest friends went to be with Jesus, I spent several nights at their family’s home, helping out his wife and kids. Because he was a pastor at our church, the circumstances his family faced were well known, but many people didn’t know them well enough to camp out on their couch for several days, fold laundry and insist that everyone eat. Friends of mine recognized this, and they did the next best thing – they helped my family so I could be at my friends’. Dinners were dropped off, kids were provided play dates, and we were prayed for – even though I wasn’t the one who suffered the greater loss. But because they were helping me, I was able to more fully be the hands and feet of Jesus to those who did. Their help made my help more possible and effective.
The willingness to “help the helpers” requires humility and a servant’s heart. When a need is pronounced and many people are aware of it, the adulation for the helpers is usually reserved for those who people see providing direct assistance. Few people were aware of how my family was being ministered to as I walked alongside my grieving friends, but those who served in this way didn’t do it for worldly acclaim. They did it because they loved Jesus, and Jesus said we were to serve (John 13:12-14; Mark 9:35. And so they did, in whatever way they could. They knew that they were unlikely to get any reward on Earth, and probably would not receive much praise. But they did it anyway, because their desire wasn’t for attention but to honor their Savior.
We might not always be called to meet every need we see, but any time we see a need, we can look for how we can help. We can look for whoever is already providing assistance, consider how we can come alongside them, and make their burden easier. We can care for the caregivers, and minister to those who are ministering. We can take joy in knowing that when we help one member of the body of Christ, even if it doesn’t seem to be the person with the most pressing need, the whole Body benefits. And as we serve the children of God, in whatever capacity we can, we can find joy in knowing that work done for Christ will never be without benefit.
