As I previously wrote, making a practice of encouraging others is a big deal. However, one of the reasons many of us may not embrace this practice is because we wrongly think that the encouragement we give has to be a big deal as well. In other words, our minds drift to grand gestures and verbose rallying cries, and we are not sure if we have the time, energy, or skill to pull off such a feat. This misunderstanding is understandable. When we think about courage, the root word of encouragement, we often tend to think of the events of epic proportions as well. Landing a plane on the Hudson River after it encountered a flock of birds is an act of courage that is acclaimed and celebrated. The little boy who presents in his class even though he would rather be hiding under his desk may barely merit a mention by his parents, let alone by society at large. But just as courage is not only found in sweeping, history-altering events, encouragement can be found on a much smaller scale. Encouragement does not have to be dramatic in order for it be profound.
So with the realization that our encouragement to others can mean a great deal without making it into a big deal, how can we start the practice of encouragement? Here are 4 tips:
- Be Attentive – If you want to encourage someone the first consideration is to know whether they are in need of encouragement! Of course, it is fair to observe that anyone can use encouragement at any given time, and to the extent that is true, our encouragement can always have some benefit. But paying attention to the lives of others, being mindful about their struggles and their challenges, and witnessing changes in demeanor or expressions, can help us encourage them in such a way that the impact is even greater. When we are mindful of the loads that others are carrying, we are better equipped to assist them in doing so. In the same way, when we are attentive to the needs of others, we are better prepared to say words that will help them with whatever weighs down their heart. General platitudes are not nearly as impactful of words that are catered to the specific struggle and heartache that another is facing. When we are attentive to the burdens of others, we can help stoke courage in the areas of their heart that need it most.
- Be Intentional – One of the reasons that it is important that we are attentive to the lives of others is so that we can be intentional with our encouragement. This means not only do we seek to exhort them in the areas of their lives where it is most needed, but we select the methods and moments of our encouragement to minister to them in ways that will have the maximum impact. For example – I love the written word. Because of that I treasure getting cards or other written expressions of encouragement (Side note – this is not a closeted call to try to boost my receipt of cards. I’m using this for illustrative purposes only.) Some quick observance of my life would probably make this fairly apparent – I write cards to others, I blog regularly, etc. Those who provide encouragement to me in this way are being intentional with their encouragement – ministering to me in ways that they already know will be significant based on who God created me to be. For others, encouragement may come in the form of helping them complete a task, or through public affirmation at the family dinner table. The truth is what will minister most to a person will vary. Giving some thought as to how we may encourage others in the way that will mean the most to them, will display this intentionality, and will help ensure that our encouragement has its intended effect.
- Be Specific – When we encourage other, our goal should be to be as specific as possible. It is one thing to tell your pastor “nice sermon;” it is far more meaningful to tell your pastor the specific way that his sermon equipped you to more faithfully apply God’s Word. Being attentive allows us to be specific because we have invested the time and energy in knowing not only the methods of encouragement that will have the greatest impact, but the specific words or actions that will most uplift the other person’s heart. General words of affirmation are nice, and if you can’t think of anything specific to say, it is better to speak general truths than to not encourage at all. But let’s make it our aim to be as specific as possible. Doing so not only increases the likelihood that our encouragement will bolster the other person’s spirits, but it also honors the unique way that God has fearfully and wonderfully molded the other person into who He created them to be because our encouragement is designed specifically for them.
- Be Timely – As we discussed in our initial post about “why” we should be people of encouragement, our opportunity to engage in this endeavor is limited. It expires upon our entrance into eternity. Therefore, we should not hesitate to boost the souls of those we encounter now, in the moment, when the opportunity arises. Again, grand gestures are not required. Instead, we can encourage through a kind word to our grocery cashier, or through helping someone pick up the mess that they made. We can encourage our children by responding with understanding rather than frustration when they unintentionally forget to put something away, a mistake that assuredly we all have made. Our encouragement shouldn’t be contingent on whether we feel like giving it or whether or not we had a bad day. Encouragement should flow from us because God has filled the hearts of His kids with so much strength and grace. Therefore, as we rely on Him for all we need, we can pass on to others the courage which He has placed in our hearts. There is no reason to hesitate or delay; if we are His kids, we know that tomorrow He will fill us again with all we need to face the day.
One of the wonderful things about being a person of encouragement is that generally it costs you little, but it can reap great rewards. There may be a sacrifice of some time and some attention as you seek to develop this practice of purposeful encouragement, but you may have the opportunity to change the trajectory of someone’s day, and quite possibly, as you point others to Christ, someone’s life. Let us not think lightly of this privilege. But let us plan and commit to regularly and intentionally encourage others. And as we do so, may we give thanks to God who has filled us with His Spirit of courage and strength.
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
– Isaiah 41:10
