Recently, I heard a rookie mom say this about her new parental role, “It is not for the faint of heart.”
And that sentiment is certainly correct. Motherhood is a great gift but it is also a great challenge. Recognizing the privilege and joy that it is to be a mom does not negate the heartache and struggles that come with the gig. We can hold both truths in tension; we can be grateful to be a mother while at the same time, be exhausted from the responsibilities.
It is the tiredness that comes with motherhood that many people find to be part of the great challenge. For the Christian mom this struggle is coupled with the added awareness that we are supposed to take a “Sabbath” – a day of rest. This mandate is clearly given in Scripture, and yet many moms wonder how they can possibly expect to fulfill the responsibilities of motherhood, and still regularly, even weekly, take a day “off.” It is a subject that I’ve pondered and prayed about for years. And while I certainly don’t have all the answers for every situation, I think there are some general principles as well as some practical steps that we can apply so that even the busiest mom can regularly take a Sabbath.
However, before we launch into the “how,” I think it is important to recognize the “why.” Why is it important that we intentionally, purposefully set aside time to partake of a Sabbath – a break from our regular work and routine to rest and draw near to God? The obvious answer is because God says we should (See Ex. 20:8-11; Ez. 20:19-20). We see that God Himself set this pattern for us to follow at Creation (Gen. 2:28). Furthermore, God says we should because it is good for us (Mark 2:28). God made us with limitations and one of those limitations is we need rest. We need regular daily rest where our bodies reenergize and get prepared for what the next day contains. But we also need longer, more extensive rest where we remember that we do not carry the world on our shoulders – God does. These lengthier, weekly times of Sabbath should be times of worship – of remembering and praising God for Who He is, and reminding ourselves that He is the center of the Universe, not us. Just like our daily sleep prepares us for the day ahead, these regular Sabbath times prepare us for the tasks God has set before us to do (Eph. 2:10). If we do not follow His command to Sabbath, we are less likely to be ready to fully embrace the responsibilities and opportunities He has graciously planned for us. And what a sad thing it will be if we find out in eternity that we didn’t fully do what God had prepared for us to do simply because we were too exhausted due to our lack of taking a Sabbath.
Understanding then that regular Sabbath rest is important for us to be ready and prepared for how God wants to use us for His Kingdom’s purposes, what are some of the principles that can guide our thinking on the subject? Here are four that I would suggest:
1. Remember God didn’t stop being God on the 7th day. And you won’t stop being a mom on your Sabbath.
A lot of moms seem to think it is unrealistic to take a Sabbath because they can’t imagine a day where they can “take off” from their duties of motherhood. This is certainly a reasonable expectation, and is especially true the younger your kids are or the more that they are dependent upon you. However, I think it is important to remember that God didn’t cease being God on the 7th day; He continued to sustain the world and care for His Creation, including most importantly His ongoing provision for Adam and Eve. We know this because if He had “taken the day off” (as strange as that might be to imagine), the world would not have continued to exist. God stopped His specific work of creating on the 7th day, but He didn’t remove His sovereign hand from over the Earth and tell the world that they were “on their own.” His care extended to His creation even on His day of rest.
As a mom, this has been an especially helpful realization for me. My kids are at the age where they don’t need me as much, but they still need me. My duty to care for them and to provide for them doesn’t stop because it is my day of “rest.” I don’t need to feel like I’m not truly taking a Sabbath because I continue to perform these duties of motherhood. Instead, I need to be intentional about what work I am going to set aside on that day and to recognize that the joys and responsibilities of motherhood are mine to perform regardless of what day of the week it is. There are days where these endeavors are more difficult than others, but that doesn’t mean that I should consider them as “work.” Instead, it helps me to think of them as the privilege of the role that God has given me. And when I exercise that privilege while finding my joy, strength, and rest in Him, I am worshiping Him in that duty – on any day of the week.
2. Appreciate your limitations.
Sometimes moms seem to not take a Sabbath because they “tried that once and it didn’t work out.” I imagine that these same moms, however, would be aghast if their kids explained their disobedience by using the same line in retort. There may be interruptions to our day of rest, and we may give in to the pressure to work despite our best of intentions, but that doesn’t mean we stop trying to put this godly principle into practice in our lives. Just like I hope we wouldn’t give up on nightly sleep after one restless evening, we shouldn’t stop trying to make taking a Sabbath a regular part of our weekly routine. Our best laid plans to rest one day a week may not materialize perfectly week in and week out, but we continue to strive to make that part of our lives. First, because God said we should. Secondly, because it is beneficial to us. And thirdly, because we are setting a pattern for our kids. If our kids never see us intentionally and purposefully setting aside time to say “no” to work and “yes” to worship, why should we expect them to do any differently when they have a household of their own?
3. Proactively plan.
Although it may go contrary to our natural inclinations for a day of rest, I have found that the only way that I can regularly take a Sabbath is if I proactively plan for it. Again, our nightly times of rest are instructive here. I know that I only have a certain number of hours to get things done before my head needs to hit the pillow so I can be ready for the next day of work. If I want to do all that I have to do, I have to plan to use those hours wisely. If we are dedicated to regularly taking a Sabbath, we have to also purposefully use all the other hours and days of the week to get done the things that God has given us to do. If we waste time on mindless and fruitless activities each day, we likely will be unable to take a day of rest each week. Our work and our duties will pile up, and we will feel compelled to use our time of rest to accomplish tasks instead. Please hear me; I think this is a trap that Satan puts in front of many moms to keep them from taking the rest that God commands. Let’s resist the temptation to fall into it! Instead, let’s commit to taking a Sabbath and plan our weeks with that goal in mind. God wouldn’t instruct us to do something that we are unable to accomplish with His help. Therefore, let’s pray over our schedule; let’s act for conviction for the unfruitful ways we are spending our time; let’s seek wisdom on what we need to put on and take off our plate, and let us do all these things with the intention of glorifying God by setting aside one day a week to rest. Remember the purpose of taking a Sabbath is to worship our Lord and we do this not only by gathering collectively with our church family, but we also do it by turning our schedule over to Him and following His command to set aside a day for worship instead of work.
4. Extend grace.
If our day of rest is fraught with anxiety and despair over what we didn’t get done and how we failed to completely take a Sabbath, I think we have neglected to understand the heart behind God’s command. In other words, we have to be willing to extend grace to ourselves and to others if our Sabbath doesn’t look exactly like we planned or hoped. We have to recognize that setting aside a day of the week for rest may be counterculture in a society that is driven by action, and others may look at that as “wasted” time. Furthermore, our Sabbath may be interrupted by any number of urgent matters and Jesus made it clear that it is good to do good on the Sabbath (Mt. 12:12), just like it is good for God’s people to do good on any other day. So, if a need arises that we can meet, we should probably meet it, regardless of the day of the week or how much meeting that need could be categorized as “work.” The purpose of the Sabbath is to remember our dependence upon God; not to belligerently protect our “time of rest” to do what we want. We should extend grace – to ourselves, to others, and to a world that may not understand why we set aside a day for rest. In doing so, we reflect the heart of the One who is Lord over the Sabbath (as well as Lord over everything else).
Although I had good intentions of providing practical tips on how to take a Sabbath in this post, simply explaining the principles went on for a little longer than I originally thought. My goal is to share the tips I have learned soon. In the meantime, it is my hope and prayer that these principles may encourage any mom out there who is doubting whether they can truly take a Sabbath day prior to their kids leaving the nest. It can be done. With prayer and planning we can take a Sabbath. And I firmly believe that God will be honored and we will be blessed as we commit to do so.
