Giving the Gift of Gratitude

As a reader of historical biographies, I often remind myself to avoid making comprehensive statements about current events. While it is certainly true that each day has its new challenges and new opportunities, it is also equally true that “for everything there is a season” (Ecc. 3:1-8) and there is “nothing new under the sun” (Ecc. 1:9).  We may be experiencing a certain type of season for the first time, but it doesn’t mean that it is the first time it has occurred in history. For example – we think that we live in an age where political discourse is at an all-time level of contentiousness, and yet, it wasn’t too long ago in American history that political rivals fairly regularly fought duels. I don’t think that makes the enmity in our public conversations any more palatable, but it does help to keep it in perspective.

So it with great hesitation that I make any type of resounding pronouncement about the last several months as the world has battled a global pandemic. My experience in epidemiology is limited, but I know enough about history to know that this isn’t the first time the world has faced such a situation, and if the Lord tarries, it probably won’t be the last. And yet even with that giant disclaimer, I believe that I can confidently say that for many people the last several months have been wearisome. We don’t know when things will return to “normal” and what “normal” will look like when they do. Throw in a presidential election, societal tensions, a cacophony of opinions regarding how to mitigate economic and social costs due to Covid-19, plus the everyday stressors of being a human being, and it is enough to make many feel overwhelmed and helpless. The struggle is real, as they say, and many are experiencing the struggle in ways that they have never experienced before.

In light of this reality, we may be tempted to look inward – to focus on the things in our lives that we believe we can control. We may find that we react stronger to inconveniences or to situations that aren’t as we desire them to be. Tensions may mount as we take on new roles and responsibilities due to changing external conditions. And because we are so focused on the changes and the challenges, we neglect to look around and notice that things are challenging and changing for everyone else too.

If you find yourself in this situation, I have a suggestion. Give the gift of gratitude. Find someone, each and every day, that is facing the challenges that have been thrown at them and are doing it in such a way that they deserve commendation, and thank them for what they are doing to “keep on, keeping on” in the midst of the difficulties and turmoil. This may be a teacher who has changed lesson plans to accommodate distance learning, and then changed them once again to return to the classroom, and then changed them again to accommodate a child who is quarantined at home. You may thank a pastor who has faithfully tended to the flock that God has entrusted to him – who has altered service times, changed his preaching schedule, and has coordinated online or outside meetings – to ensure that that the church members continue to get fed, never complaining about how much he misses the after-service interaction which was so enriching for his soul. Thank a first responder who continues to show up to work each and every day, not fully knowing what they are risking for themselves or their family. Express gratitude to the grocery store worker, the gas station attendant, or the doctors and nurses who continue to serve others, sometimes in hostile or threatening environments. Thank your child who has worked hard in whatever new schooling situation they faced. Thank your spouse who has helped you deal with your stress, even while dealing with their own. Thank God who remains faithful, and does not change, even as the world around us regularly does.

Here is the crux of the matter – when we are regularly acknowledging and expressing gratitude for others and the things that they are doing, it is hard to keep our eyes on ourselves and the challenges we face. This doesn’t make our challenges any less real, but it does help us keep them in perspective. Other people are struggling too – and we can provide a minute of encouragement to them to help lessen their struggle a little bit. When we do so, we often find that our load is lessened as well. There is a reason that Paul’s letters are filled with expressions of thanks to the churches he was writing to, and it is not just because of the good that they were doing for him. He also thanked them for being faithful followers of Christ. As they were faithful in their service, it had to encourage him to continue to be faithful in his, even though the situations that he was in were often less than ideal (there is a reason that we have a group of letters called “The Prison Epistles”). We too should regularly thank others – for who they are and what they do – regardless of the difficulties of our current situation. 

So if you are feeling wearisome from this long road that we have collectively been walking, if you are discouraged because you don’t know when this situation will end, let me encourage you to stop counting the days, and to start counting the reasons you have to give thanks. Express your gratitude daily – first to God Who is the giver of all good things, and then to someone else who is blessing you or encouraging you by the way that they are approaching their tasks. As we do so may we recognize that although we are giving thanks to others – we are the ones that are being blessed.

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The Expected Blessing

At a donut store that my family likes to frequent, the server will often give my kids a donut hole along with whatever donut they choose. The donut hole isn’t part of the order – it is just an extra bonus that the store gives the kids because they are kind, and they likely know it will make the kids smile. Occasionally, the donut hole is not given, and my kids are tempted to complain about what is “missing.” Of course, I explain to them that it wasn’t part of the order, and therefore we shouldn’t expect it. Still, their crestfallen faces indicate that although they understand the words that I’m saying, they don’t completely buy the rationale.

While it is easy to shake my head and smile to myself at my kids’ unreasonableness in expecting something that they have only received out of kindness and generosity, I find that I am tempted to do the same thing. In His grace, God has provided abundant blessings in my life – even beyond the greatest blessing that He can provide – the gift of a reconciled relationship with Him. Furthermore, while I deserve none of this generosity, God not only gives it, but He doesn’t give me what I do deserve – which is eternal punishment and separation from Him. However, much like my kids are tempted to overlook the blessing of getting a donut, and instead focus on the “missed blessing” of not getting a donut hole, I can be tempted to ignore all the many gifts that God has given me, and focus on the one gift that I want, but that He has decided, in His wisdom, not to give. Much like my children can grow discontent over a blessing that is not given, and is not theirs to expect, I can be tempted towards discontentment when what I want – and what I think would be good – isn’t mine.

The reality is that, if we are God’s beloved children, we can expect that He will give us good gifts. Scripture makes it clear that our Heavenly Father will not only give us these gifts, but He delights in doing so. If we know this about our good God, can we not expect that if He chooses to forgo something specific that we desire, that it is because He knows it is not best? Can we not trust that if our Father takes joy in pouring out His blessings on our lives, that He may not give what we expect, but He will give us what He knows what we need, and what will be for our ultimate good?

This is not easy. From our temporal perspective we can think we know what is best and struggle when God choose something different. But the Christian must strive for an eternal perspective. And from the vantage point of Heaven, we can trust that there is full confidence that God knows best, and that His love is extravagant and His generosity abundant.

So as we seek to grow in our walk with Him, may we not be so arrogant as to tacitly demand specific expressions of God’s kindness to us. May we not grow discontent when what we have been given is not what we thought we would get. Instead, let us cling to this confidence in God – He loves us more than we know, He will generously give us good gifts, and while they may not be what we expected, they will be more than we desired and all that we need.

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