Pain is Personal

I have a dear friend (miss you, Gini) who likes to say “Pain is personal.” Since she’s had more than her fair share of troubles to deal with, I’m inclined to go with her insight on this subject. Pain is personal – we evaluate our hardships based on our own experiences and our own perceptions of how things should be. Despite our best attempts, it’s very hard to experience another person’s pain.

I’ve been reminded of my friend’s wisdom repeatedly in the last few days. The reminders have come most frequently through a little boy who is visiting the community with his family. His family is from the States and although I doubt that in their home country they are considered wealthy, they have a lot compared to anyone in this village. However, this is lost on this little boy. His first night here he complained repeatedly about a slight scratch on his finger. Additionally, in a car crammed with 18 people, he was very concerned about his comfort. When offered dinner, he wanted to know about other available options. All of this is understandable – he is used to having these things be of importance. But surrounded by kids who’s feet are so scratched up they probably will never heal, who take a seat where its given regardless of their comfort, and who are blessed just to have enough to eat, its difficult not to see the contrast. The children of this community have a broader perspective on pain and so their relation to it is much different. The things that may seem major to the little American boy are of no concern to them.

I was reminded of how personal pain is again today. I woke up with a stomach virus and spent most of the morning sleeping (quick side bar to reduce my mother’s worry – I feel much better.) After church we intended to go on our Christmas visits, delivering food, clothes and blankets to those in need. Juli had prescribed rest, and so I slept through church, but was determined to go on the home visits. It was a good day, and I believe that the four families we visited will have a better Christmas as a result. However, my slight illness quickly became of little concern when we visited the home of Hannah. Hannah is a lady who has a benign tumor in her face that due to lack of medical care has grown beyond where it’s operable. This rampant growth of cells has changed the bone structure in her face as it seeks to expand into every cavity. Even with pain medication, she hadn’t slept for three days. Despite her obvious discomfort, her gratitude for our visit was abundantly expressed. This woman, who has so much to worthy of complaint, raised her hands and sang with us:

What a Friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and grief to bear
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer

Pain is personal. Thankfully, so is our God.

Continue Reading

A Missed Opportunity

A few days ago David received a call that the President’s wife, Mrs. Kabaki, would like to come for a visit. As I mentioned earlier, Kenya is getting ready for their presidential election and the two front-runners are very close in the polls. The plan was for Mrs. Kabaki to come to David’s house for lunch, to visit the children’s home to for distribution of Christmas gifts, and to go the clinic for a campaign rally. It was a little odd – expecting to serve the president’s wife lunch –but surprisingly all of us took it in stride. It was a good thing to because in a country where “there is no hurry” plans rarely come to fruition like you intended.
Mrs. Kabaki was running severely behind schedule and she went to the clinic first. People had started gathering in the morning and she arrived somewhere around 3 pm. After the rally, we went to the children’s home to await her visit to the kids. However, it never came. Mrs.Kabaki’s security detail took her out of the village along the back road. The children, also, had been waiting since the morning, dressed in the campaign’s colors and practicing their songs. Their disappointment when they heard the news was evident. A whole day had been spent in preparation for a visit that never came.
Although its hard to know whether it was the wasted time or the lack of Christmas gifts that caused the children their dismay, I can’t help but think that Mrs. Kabaki missed an important opportunity to bless the community through blessing those who are most in need. Also, she didn’t get to see the heart of the people as she never saw 30 smiling orphaned children, some of who are infected with HIV, welcome her to their community and sing about God’s blessings. She may have felt that the campaign rally was the most important stop in her plans, and for this campaign, she may have estimated correctly. But if she was looking for the greatest opportunity for impact, I have to believe she choose poorly.


Dinner Preparation

Continue Reading