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We’ve all heard the phrase “sometimes, you have to swallow your pride.” I would guess that 99% of the time that this phrase is used it references someone who has done something wrong and they are reluctant to admit it. It’s hard to be humble, to admit our failings. The difficulty that it causes is the reason that we are admonished to to consume our own boastfulness; it’s not something that comes naturally.

As hard as swallowing one’s pride is, I think its harder to swallow our own righteousness; to overlook the wrong that’s been done or the injustice that’s been committed and to recognize that sometimes God calls us to set aside what we think we deserve so that He can get what He deserves. Proverbs 19:11 says that it is our “glory to overlook an offense.” How counterculture is that in a world that proclaims the need for “talking it out” and “not holding it in.” Obviously these have their place in relationships too, but in a quick review of Scripture the only time I could find that we were told to seek out a conversation is when 1) we were the ones committing the offense or 2) when the offense (i.e. sin) was against the Lord. Maybe if we didn’t think so highly of ourselves we wouldn’t be so eager to talk with others about the wrong that they committed against us. Maybe if we thought a little more highly of God we’d be more eager to address the wrong that they’ve committed against Him.

I don’t know how to be o.k. with not telling someone when they’ve hurt me, but I know that sometimes that’s what I’m called to do. And so I’m learning. My self-righteousness doesn’t have the best taste, but like so many other things in life, maybe its an acquired one.

I have a muscle in my right shoulder that regularly spasms. Its the result of years of bad posture and poor muscle development. It’s a constant reminder to me that my mother probably was always right. After all, she was the one who constantly told me to stop slouching even when I didn’t think I was.

Recently I discovered that more than at any other time my muscle spasms in church. I always thought that this was because of the construction of the chairs, but I actually think it may be something different. Whether I’m singing or I’m listening to a sermon, when I’m in church I’m reminded of how lowly I am especially in comparison to an awesome God. My body’s response to this recognition is to slouch forward, a characteristic sign of humble circumstances. I realize my worthlessness contrasted with His worth and I must bow before Him.

What’s noteworthy is how unnatural this is for my body. We’re cautioned to stand up straight because it projects confidence. We’re trained to move with our shoulders back because it puts our body in proper alignment. But when we are properly aligned with our Creator, we realize that we truly are people “of unclean lips” and are forced to our knees. My body revolts against this, as does every world inclination in my spirit, and yet this is what the glory of Christ compels. The spasm in my shoulder is a reminder that humility is never what our bodies, or our worldly nature wants, but it is the proper response to God.