Growth Relationships

Gratitude for the Expected

As loyal readers are no doubt aware, I have great parents. Part of what makes my parents great was their relationship with each other. One of the many things that I grew to appreciate about my parents is that whenever we went out to dinner, my mom told my dad “thank you.” It didn’t matter that they had been together since she was 16, had been married more than 30 years, and that sometimes “out to dinner” was a drive through Taco Bell, she still expressed her gratitude to my dad. And it wasn’t just for the sake of platitudes; my mom actually meant it.

This practice of expressing gratitude for something that we’ve come to expect is something I’ve adopted in my relationship with my own husband. I realized this as he drove for hours on a work trip that he had accompanied me on. In my mind, driving is something that a husband does. (I realize others may differ on this, and that’s o.k.) I’m grateful that my husband is willing to do so. The fact that I expect it, doesn’t mean I’m not appreciative for it.

This practice should also be true in my relationship with God. Cultivating a heart of gratitude, means recognizing that while I expect the sun to rise in the morning, it certainly doesn’t have to. The fact that it did, is something that I appreciate. This plays out in a variety of ways – big and small. Whether it’s my loving husband, the home we share, the friends God has placed in my life, or the fact that today I got to go to a job I love, I’ve been given so much. After awhile the bounty of His gifts can become routine. Instead of just accepting them, I need to remind myself of how appreciative I am for them, and express my thankfulness accordingly.

I think we are used to giving thanks for an unexpected blessing, when God grants our “unthinkable” request. However, may we increasingly be just as grateful for the gifts we’ve already been given, for the ones we’ve come to expect.

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Growth

Our Offense

Recently, I’ve had a little mini-series on sin (If you’ve missed the posts, you can find them here, here, here. and here.) I’ll be honest, it’s not a topic most people want to read about. After, people would much rather read about the better things ahead, then what changes need to happen in the here and now. But I wrote anyway.

Today’s topic may be even less appealing, but it’s important too. For after a discussion about our sin before God, a natural follow-up is to wonder about when people sin against us. (You can see this connection in Matthew 18 verses 7-9 followed by verses 10-14.) After all, we know that a righteous God demands holiness and we want others to treat us according to that standard. But here are two important things to remember:

1. We’re not God.

2. We’re not holy.

So we have no business thinking that we can hold other people to the same standard that God does – in their relationship with us.

Which means, when someone sins against us, we are commanded to forgive. Regardless of whether they deserve it, regardless of how hurt we were, regardless of the consequences we’ve suffered as a result, we are not to hold on to that offense.

And if we do, now we’re the ones in sin. We’ve taken what may be righteous anger and we’ve made it into something that’s abhorrent to God – a hardened heart. We’ve stopped being concern about how their sin affects their relationship with God, and started focusing on how their sin affects us. We’ve held on tight to the repentance we deserve to see, rather than the repentance that’s needed before God.

We’ve taken their sin and made it into our own.

That’s what unforgiveness does. And that’s why God says, regardless of how often or how much is required, when someone sins against you, you are to forgive.

Because God cares more about our standing before Him, then how others stand before us.

And we should too.

(For a great book on sin, check out The Enemy Within by Kris Lundgaard.)

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