When we think of the holidays, we tend to think of joyous memories and festive celebrations. There is a reason for this. For many, this season is truly “the most wonderful time of the year.” They savor their holiday coffees and relish the search for the perfect gift. They take joy in the times spent with family and friends and look forward to the respite from the daily grind. They have much to celebrate and can look back on the previous year with thankfulness and great joy.
As much as we might hope that this portrait reflects everyone’s experience, the truth is that it does not. For some, this holiday season is hard because instead of a time to celebrate all that they have, it is a painful reminder of what they have lost. The preceding year may have been filled with challenges, difficulties, or grief, and the twinkling Christmas lights only seem to illuminate and intensify their pain. If this describes you this season, or if you know someone for which this rings true, here are four things we should encourage ourselves, and others, to do when the holidays are hard:
Keep Eternity in View
One of the challenges about painful seasons is that it is hard to get away from our pain. It is ever present, like an extra appendage that we carry with us. Sometimes it can be difficult to see beyond our hurt. Yet if we are a child of God, we know that our focus should never be on this Earth. Our heart’s longing, and our purposeful focus, should be fixed on Eternity. There are things that God has called us to accomplish on this Earth but this is not His children’s Home. Whatever pain we experience now is temporary until He calls us to be with Him. If we recognize that our afflictions are “light” and “momentary” compared to the future glory we will experience when we are with Him (2 Cor. 4:17), it may not immediately lessen our hurt, but it will certainly help us keep it in perspective.
Focus On What God Has Given You
Seasons of challenge and pain are often intensified by the fact that things are not as we wish they were. We ache because of the struggles, but we also ache because our thoughts about our future – what we dreamed for and anticipated – are different than the path God has called us to walk. In these moments, it is helpful to remember that God uses even our struggles and our difficulties for the good of His children (Ro. 8:28). Life may not be what you thought it would be, but God is at work in the life that you have. Focus on what God has given you – the specific good gifts that you can identify and enumerate. But also remember that even if you can’t see it yet, if you are God’s kid, He is working through your pain to bring about His good purposes. Furthermore, the affliction that you are experiencing may be used by Him to help someone else later down the road (2 Cor. 1:4), and even that is a gift that without this trial, you may not have been able to experience.
Dive Into Serving Others
When we are in pain, we can tend to focus inward as we contend with the hurt. One of the best ways that I know how to deal with difficult seasons is to commit to serving others while you are going through them. Regardless of what is going on in your life, you will likely be able to find someone who has greater struggles. This won’t be easy – you are going to have to fight to bless other people even as you deal with your hurt. But it will be worth it. Your circumstances may not change because of your service to others, but your heart and your attitude likely will. And there are few better ways to spend the holidays, even the holidays that are hard, than blessing someone else and being an ambassador of Christ’s love to someone who needs Him.
Recall What Jesus Did….For You
Our familiarity with the Christmas account may prompt us to overlook the great sacrifice that Jesus made in condescending to come to Earth as a baby. We are more likely to associate sacrifice with Jesus’ death on the cross. While that assuredly was a sacrifice of great cost, the commemoration of His birth should also remind us of the great depths of His love. Jesus left Heaven – a place where He was rightly honored and glorified, where His majesty was continually proclaimed and praised, in order to come to Earth as a baby, willingly dependent upon people whom He created to provide for His basic needs, knowing full well that He would be ridiculed, mocked, beaten, and shamed, all because of His great love for us. Regardless of the hurt and difficulties that you experience during this time of year, you will never experience a greater love than this. And the same Savior who was willing to go to such magnitudes for you, will see you through this season as well.
In Any Season
Before Jesus’ ascended to Heaven, one of the promises that He left with His disciples was that He would always be with them (Mt. 28:20). If you are God’s child, you can take comfort in the fact that this promise is for you too. Whether this holiday season is full of joyous celebrations, or if it is replete with pleading prayers, God is with you. And He will continue to be with you – through all the joys, and the pains, that lay ahead.
