Growth

Saying the Same Thing

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There’s an old schoolyard game called “jinx.” To play the game, you and another person must say the exact same thing at the exact same time. The first one to say “jinx” after this occurs gets some sort of control over the other person. Depending on the version of the game you play either the “loser” has to buy the winner a Coke or they can’t speak until the winner says their name, or some other “punishment” is inflicted on them as a result of not saying “jinx” first. Presumably this game developed because kids realized the unlikelihood of two people uttering the same words simultaneously. It was a rare enough occurrence that when it did happen someone decided that it was worthy of further elaboration and amusement.

As adults, we recognize that whether we are saying the same thing as someone else or not, our tongue has a habit of getting us in trouble. In fact, James warns us of this very thing. The tongue can cause great destruction both to ourselves and to others. Controlling it is difficult, but necessary in order to live a life that pleases Christ.

One of the ways that we can make sure that we accomplish this is to make sure that our words are the same as Christ’s. In John 15:20 Jesus is preparing His disciples for His imminent departure. He is telling them that they will be persecuted and that they will suffer for His sake. He also says “If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” Christ is telling His disciples that if they are careful to preach the same things that He did, then they can be sure that their words will penetrate the hearts of those who are His. Conversely, those who are not His will respond with hatred and contempt.

This should give us great encouragement and direction. If my words align with Christ’s then I need not worry about how others respond. Those who love Christ will respond with that same love to my words that mirror His message. When the world disagrees with what I say, when they revile me because of stance with the truth of His Word, I need not fear. I can take comfort in the fact that I’m saying the same things as my Savior.

Knowing the right thing to say is not easy. It is made even that much more difficult by the fact that we can never be sure how our words will be interpreted or received. However, if like the old game of jinx we can examine our words and know that our words are the same as those of Christ’s we can have confidence that our words will bring Him glory – regardless of how others respond or what they say.

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Relationships

More Than Partners

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When preparing to give birth or when reading blogs or books about being a new parent, writers often talk about the role of the mother’s “partner.” Throughout the literature it is clear that mommyhood isn’t something that is intended to be done alone. If the mother takes on the full weight of responsibility for the little one’s life, not only will she quickly be overwhelmed, but the father is missing out on an important part of the parenting experience. Researchers want dads and moms to know that parenting is not a solo gig.

While I agree with the sentiments expressed by these authors, I found myself often tripping up over the word “partner.” As a businessperson one learns early on that a partnership is one way of establishing an organizational structure. A partnership is where two parties share both responsibilities and decision-making authority. Liabilities and assets, profits and losses are all to be shared between the partners. There is a mutual investment and all partners have an interest in seeing the enterprise succeed.

The trouble is that while the above description may seem to clearly reflect how many people approach marriage and parenting, a partnership is not an apt characterization of the biblical model of these things. Partnerships, after all, are transactional – it is about an exchange of ideas, money or other assets that allow all parties to benefit. Marriages are relational – it is not about each person protecting their own interest and obtaining their own success – it is about sacrifice and care for the good of your spouse. Partnerships are easy to dissolve and often are when they no longer are able to obtain their desired outcome; marriages are intended to last beyond any temporal condition and are about bringing God glory not about personal self interest. While marriage may envelope some of the principles of a partnership, a Christian marriage should move beyond these elementary ideas and should be seen both as a ministry – intended to reflect Christ to both your spouse and to the watching world – and a commitment that no contract or court can can abrogate. Neither of these things are transactional – they mean something more than simply an exchange so that two parties benefit.

It is easy to slip into the language of our culture and to talk about our spouse as our partner. And hopefully it is true that both our spouse and ourselves are invested in our marriage and our committed to its success. However, let us also recognize that merely having a partnership is not what God intended when two people are brought together as one. Let us approach our marriage as more than a partnership – to see it not as a transaction but as a relationship that can bring God honor and praise.

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