“You’re killing me, man.”
I’m not sure where this phrase originated, but it has long been used as an exclamation of frustration. When things aren’t going the way that is anticipated, this phrase is used to demonstrate that the other person is responsible for making the situation difficult for me. When someone doesn’t return our affections (or doesn’t return them to the same degree), we use this phrase as a pronouncement of the destruction that they are causing to our heart. Perhaps made most popular by the movie, The Sandlot, it is used in a variety of context to demonstrate our vexation at someone else’s actions, lack of knowledge, or response.
Although we use this phrase to lay blame on someone else, it’s what Christians should be doing everyday to themselves. We should be “killing” the “me” that resides within us – putting to death our selfish and sinful desires in order to live for Christ. When the Scripture talks about this, we tend to focus on the parts where it discusses living for Christ. Matthew 16:24 is the famous passage where Jesus commands His followers to take up His cross and follow Him. However, the very next verse tells us that we should be “losing” our lives. Not passively, but purposefully seeking to lose the “us” as we live for Jesus. Similarly, in Galatians, we talk a lot about how Christ now lives in us, but we forget that the first part of that verse states that “we” have been killed; that because Christ lives in us, we are putting to death “us.”
This may sound great theoretically (although it may also sound difficult and confusing), but what does it mean? It means that dying to self isn’t just saying “yes” to Jesus, but killing the desire to do things for me. “My” time, “my” desires, “my” needs don’t exist – except as they are found in Christ Jesus. How He wants time spent, is how we should be spending our time. What He desires, should be our desire. “Our” needs are being cared for by Him. We are putting to death the “me” and the “my” so that we may be more like Christ; we are actively sacrificing “mine” on the altar of “His.”
This isn’t an easy thing. Nor will we be perfect at killing “me” and “mine” this side of glory. But may we, like Paul, work towards being able to say, “Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Jesus Christ my Lord” (Phil. 3:8a).