Growth

Fueled

I’m very compliant.

When I was in high school, a bunch of friends unexpectedly went over to another friend’s house unexpectedly. Because I wasn’t supposed to be at a house when the parents weren’t home, upon finding out about their absence, I waited outside for my friends to finish their visit.

In college, my friends would laugh at me because instead of walking across the street from my apartment to the school, I would venture down to the crosswalk to traverse the road.  Forget the fact that the rest of the student body didn’t feel the need to do the same.

If we’re playing a board game, and there’s a question about how it is supposed to be played, I will immediately fish for the rule book and abide by it.

And while being so compliant probably doesn’t do a lot to endear me to my peers, growing up it had a good effect on my self-perception. I could identify myself as “the good girl.”

Yet Scripture doesn’t say that we should do good because we will think highly of ourselves for doing it; Scripture says that we do good because of our love for and desire to please God.

And what motivates this love?

Knowledge of Him.

As Colossians 1:9-10 states:

And so  from the day we heard,we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. [emphasis mine]

Did you catch that?

As we understand God and His will more, we will walk in a manner worthy of Him.

Not only because we know what pleases Him, and therefore know better what we should do, but because we have greater understanding of Who He is, and therefore don’t want to do things that would disappoint Him.

Our increased knowledge of Him increases our desire for Him. And our desire to do those things that make Him happy.

So if we want to live a life more pleasing to Him, we should learn more about Him.

  • We should study His Word.
  • We should spend time in prayer.
  • We should listen to other Christians who know Him more.

And just like gas powers a car, that knowledge should be the fuel that prompts our good works.

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Relationships

What Women Want

Women are a mystery.

This statement is said so often we’ve begun to just accept it as true.  In fact, it has permeated our culture. In 2000, Mel Gibson starred in What Women Want, a movie that pondered what would happen if a guy could hear everything that goes on in women’s heads. Around the same time, a popular song by Christina Aguilera seemed to answer this question as she boldly proclaimed What a Girl Wants. Both these vestiges of pop culture were based on the same thing – that guys, for the most part, don’t know what women want., and these venues sought to provide answers.

It’s not surprising that we don’t find a lot of true answers from movies and pop songs.  After all, most of the time the standard of these girls is different for the standard for the woman who is pursuing God. So it begs the question – what does the girl who is following Christ want? Although the list probably varies from person to person, there are some commonalities that I think exist. So whether you are a guy trying to be the man that a Christ-following woman needs, or a gal who is trying to determine whether a guy meets the standards, here are a few things to consider:

  • A man who is growing in Christ – Please notice that I didn’t say a “Christian.” Unfortunately, this has become too simplistic of a distinction. People may say that they are a Christian because they grew up in church, because they are American, or simply because that’s what they think you want to hear. A woman of God, however, needs someone who is growing in Christ. The man should be someone who is passionately pursuing their Savior, and in doing so, is someone who can motivate and encourage others to passionately pursue Him.
  • A man who will treat her like a princess – Along with the first thing listed, this is what my parents prayed for their girls. They wanted to us to marry someone who loved Christ and who treated us like a princess. Now this doesn’t mean that a woman wants someone who she can boss around – a loyal subject. What it means is that the woman wants someone who will cherish and honor her in the same way that a country cherishes and honors their royalty. Women want someone who will protect them and defend them – and not only  against physical attacks, but who will protect and defend their heart from hurt as well.
  • To laugh – I hesitated in putting this on the list because I don’t want every guy thinking he has to be a stand-up comedian. But, here’s the thing – life is difficult. It’s good to have someone that you can laugh with. That doesn’t meant that the guy has to daily come up with a bunch of jokes, but it does mean that they are willing to find humor in some of the more inane moments of life. And when I talk to girls about what they are looking for in a guy, “sense of humor” is almost always on the list. Plus, there’s this to consider –   true laughter happens with those that you are comfortable with – and a woman wants someone that she can be herself around.

I’m sure that there are more things that different women would add to this list. But this is a start. And perhaps in thinking through these things we find that women aren’t such a mystery after all.

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