Prepared for Guests

Recently I shared some tips for preparing our hearts towards hospitality. As we anticipate welcoming people into our home it is helpful to remember the many benefits that can be accrued from this endeavor. It is a sacrifice to open our doors to other people, but it is a sacrifice that can honor God and bless those around us.

Some of us may be quick to agree that hospitality is good, and we may even be eager to claim some of its benefits, but we don’t know where to start. Below are some practical tips for how to prepare in order to be more hospitable. Unlike many of my posts, I can’t cite chapter and verse for these things. If you want to know the biblical support for being hospitable, please go back and read the previous post! But if you are looking towards the holidays and the start of a new year and you want to increase the frequency and the intentionality with which you welcome people into your home, these things may prove helpful.

1. Keep your freezer stocked.

Of all the things I do so I can be more readily hospitable, this is probably the most effective.  If I know I have a meal in my freezer that I can easily warm up, there is very little excuse not to invite someone over. For those of you who may be more elaborate cooks this I am, this may take some flexibility and adaptability on your part. Five course meals don’t freeze well. But lasagna, enchiladas, and many other things do! Remember – you are not inviting people over to impress them with your cooking skills – or at least you shouldn’t be. You are opening the doors of your home in order to be a blessing to someone else. If you keep a meal on-hand at all times, you will be primed to be this blessing at any moment.

2. Have easy recipes that feed a crowd.

The counterpart to the previous suggestion is that sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you won’t have a meal ready or you won’t have a big enough meal to feed the number of people that you want to spontaneously invite. In this case, you need a couple go-to recipes for which you always have the ingredients. Tacos is one of these meals for our family. It doesn’t take a lot of time or preparation to make tacos as long as you have everything on hand. (Another advantage of tacos is that they are easily customizable for each eater’s preferences. You don’t need a repertoire of elaborate recipes. You need a few that are in the regular rotation that you can commit to always having the supplies. Again – the goal here isn’t to provide a restaurant experience – there are restaurants for that. The goal is to serve other people and to invest in them for Kingdom purposes.

3. Put it on the calendar

Where I have most often seen the failure of good intentions when it comes to hospitality is in the actual planning of it. We are quick to say, “we should get together sometime,” or “we’d love to have you over.” If I find myself saying or texting this, I try to discipline myself to either ask for dates, or to suggest some specific times we have available. This isn’t to be pushy (although you will have to ask those we have hosted to find out if they have thought it was!); without scheduling the time, it is easy for the invitation to always be an idea and not an actuality. Even if the date needs to be changed later one, you are more likely to do so if it is scheduled in the first place. Try to avoid vague invites. Be specific – the most proactive you are about scheduling, the more likely that it will actually happen.

4. Keep it in the family

If you read my previous post on hospitality, it may not surprise you to learn that, as often as possible, you invite the whole family. There may be times that you need to schedule time with just your adult counterparts. But as often as possible, include the kids in the invitation. This is not only good for your kids, as I previously mentioned, but it is going to make it easier for your guests to accept. Plus, you will get to know them more if you not only see how the interact with you, but you also get to witness their family dynamics. Your floors may get a little dirtier, and you may have to spend a few more minutes cleaning up when everyone is gone, but in the long run, it is worth it.

 

It Starts With a Plan

As someone who is organized and likes to prepare, one of the biggest hurdles to being hospitable is that I frequently felt like I wasn’t prepared. However, now I just plan that I will have people over at some point, even if I don’t know the date or the time. I expect that we are going to want to issue an invitation, and if so, I know that whether that invite is for today or in a week, I will be prepared for guests. This is a game changer. It means that the foundation for hosting is already in place, even before the invite is issuedAll I need to do next, is actually host people. In a future post, we will discuss some tips for doing that. In the meantime, stock up that freezer and schedule a time to get together with that person you have been meaning to reach out to, and just haven’t done so yet!

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A Good Word

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and there are certainly times that this is true. Unfortunately, this catchy phrase can sometimes downplay the importance of words. You may not be able to adequately capture beauty or awe with words alone, but a picture is a more substitute for words when comfort or wisdom is needed.

Proverbs 12:25 pointedly makes it clear the positive impact that the right words can have. It states, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad” Of course if we want our words to make others glad, we have to know how to bring a “good word.” To do so, three things are needed

Know the Word

If we want to bring people a good word, we have to know the source of all good words – the Word of God. Any time we can bring the Truth of Scripture into a situation, we can be assured that the words we speak will have an impact. In order to do this easily and naturally, we need to know what the Bible says. It will be difficult to use Scripture to bring others comfort, or to help them see things from a godly perspective, if we aren’t intimately familiar with what the Bible teaches. We need to know the Word in order to bring the Word and if we want our help lessen the burden of others through encouragement and truth, we must make studying and memorizing Scripture a top priority.

Know What Would Be Good

Knowing well the goodness of Scripture will surely help us bring good words to heavy hearts. However, we also need to know the people we are talking to and attempt to understand the particulars of a situation to know what would be good at that specific time. For example, knowing that the wages of sin is death is true and biblical (Rm. 3:23), but it may not be the best piece of Scripture to bring forth in the midst of someone’s grief. Scripture tells us to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:19) and it is good that we apply this principle in moments where we hope our words will provide some relief. If we are too eager to say our piece, we may neglect to truly consider what is good for the other person at that moment. Just because something is true doesn’t mean that it is the best thing to say in any particular situation. We should speak truth, but all truth is not equally helpful at every time. Slow down and prayerfully consider what, if anything, is the best thing to say to the person whose heart is heavy. Doing so increases the likelihood that the words you speak will uplift, and not further discourage, them.

Be Bold, With Love

The danger in writing that we should be careful to only say what is good for a particular occasion is that someone may interpret this to mean that we should only say things that the worrier wants to hear. However, that is not the case. Our care for the other person should not prevent from speaking what they need to hear, even if it is not what they want to hear. We need to define what is “good” not based on their preferences but based on what God calls good. And sometimes, God may call us to deliver hard truth that is painful in the moment but is ultimately used for good in the life of the person we are speaking to.

This is why it is so important that our motivation for speaking is love. First and foremost, we need to make sure that our love for God motivates us to set aside our own pride so that instead of saying what we want, we say what He wants. Additionally, genuine love for the other person will restrain us from saying true, but unhelpful things, and will compel us to say difficult but beneficial words.  Be bold if you need to. But make sure your boldness is rooted in love

Make Others Glad

We all like to be around people who make us glad. It is a blessing to be in the company of those who encourage us, who help to lessen our burdens and who love us enough to speak the truth in love. May we be these kind of people to those who God has placed in our lives. And as we do so, may we help to bring the Truth of Scripture to bear upon every situation we encounter.

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