Don’t Waste Mistakes

 

In the business world it has become popular to talk about the need for failure. While it is true that most people don’t succeed in their first attempt, the drive to normalize failure seems to have turned into a celebration of it.  Innovation doesn’t flourish when people feel like defeat is permanent. However it one thing to recognize that losses can be regained; it is another thing entirely to not care whether you win or lose to begin with.

I was thinking about this recently after a chat with one of my kids. A mistake had been made, the apologies were profuse, and forgiveness abundant. However as I consoled the offender, I never said it was o.k. Because it wasn’t. A violation of Scripture had occurred and I never want to give my children the impression that this is o.k.  We accept that they will occur, but our goal is always that they won’t.

And I think that’s an important distinction. We should recognize that we are sinful creatures and that, this side of Heaven, we are going to continue to sin. But we should also acknowledge that God’s desire is for His children to be increasingly more like His Son. Just like I think it’s wrong for consultants to talk like all businesses should “fail forward,” we shouldn’t get to a place where we are o.k. with sin because we recognize that God, in His graciousness, can even use evil to produce good.  As children who love our Heavenly Father our desire should be to please Him. And part of what that means is that we consistently aim to do what He says, even while recognizing that we won’t always do so.

In other words, don’t waste the mistakes you’ll make. Learn from them, grow from them, and let them fuel your desire to do better. But let’s make sure our heart’s cry is that we won’t make them in the first place.

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Trusting God With My Family

 

 

A little over a year ago I was trying to make a decision about whether or not I should pursue an opportunity. There were many good things about it, but there was one major drawback – it would mean that I would have less time to spend with my kids. As I pondered the decision, the reminder of how quickly time flies was at the forefront of my mind.

Would my children look back and regret that there were moments I didn’t get to share with them? Would I look back and have the same wishful thinking?

Would my children still get adequate instruction in the way that “Team Winter” thinks and behaves? What new influences would I be opening up to them?

What milestones would I miss? What memories would I forego? 

In sum – Would they be o.k?

As I wrestled with the decision – something became perfectly clear.

I was focused on the impact on my kids – what I needed to consider was the impact on my walk with Christ. 

This wasn’t to say that my kids weren’t a consideration. Since God has given me the privilege of being a mother and called me to that ministry, part of being a good steward of what He has entrusted to me is thinking through what would be best for them. But what I failed to remember in those initial moments is that God wasn’t going to call me to something that would be detrimental to them. Therefore putting my children at the forefront of my thinking wasn’t wise. God needed to come first and I needed to trust that as much as I love my kids – He loves them more. And He is not going to direct me down a path that would be harmful to them.

This is a difficult lesson to learn. Perhaps the challenge is especially steep for moms because God has created us to be nurturers in our families and we consider it our job to make sure “everyone is o.k.” It is also difficult because there may be some decisions where two godly people could come to different conclusions. In areas where there is not a clear issue of holiness and sin, God doesn’t call everyone to the same thing. But He does call all people to follow Him. And as His followers seek Him and follow His directions, we can have confidence that what He has planned is for His glory and our good.

And when it comes to being a parent, what He will use for our good will be for the good of our kids as well.

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