New (School) Year Resolutions

Like many parents, I view the start of a new school year with mixed emotions. As I have written about previously, there is some eager anticipation as we find out who our kids’ teachers will be, which classmates will be in their class, and what the workload for the school year will be. While there is a tendency to let this anticipation grow into a desire for my children to have the “best” situation for them, I have committed instead to let my hope for them drive me to pray that they will be a blessing to whomever God places in their path.

This year as I anticipate the start of school, I realize that just as the school year will afford my children many opportunities, their new classrooms and classmates also create opportunities for me. Each person in their class represents parents that I will encounter that, apart from my children’s classroom assignment, I would likely never meet. Not only will be children make new connections, but if I am intentional, so will I.

With this in mind, I prayerfully considered how I can use this school year to its fullest. Recognizing that while it is important that my children accomplish their educational goals, it is infinitely more important that I consider how our family might be used to accomplish God’s eternal objectives. In short, I must commit to use this new school year for God’s glory, and trust that as we do so, He will ensure that it is also used for my children’s growth.

Therefore, I have resolved that this new school year, I will commit to the following:

1. Pray for the Parents

I often pray for the students that my kids will encounter, mainly because I want my children to become friends with godly individuals. However, I have recently been convicted that I also need to pray for the parents of those kids. The purpose is two-fold. First, I pray for the parents because I want my kids’ friends to grow up in God-honoring households. I recognize that eventually the choices that these parents make could end up impacting my kid via their friends. If my kids have friends whose parents are holding them accountable to God’s standards, this makes it more likely that these friends will be encouraging my kids to make wise choices. This is a good thing!

Secondly, I pray for these parents that I might have wisdom on how to best minister to them. I want to have eyes to see those who are hurting and who need help, knowing that as I am a blessing to them, it may open the door for Gospel conversations. I had a profound reminder of this last year as my kids and I were leaving school one day. My social butterfly child was filling our walk to the car with a bevy of farewells. As she said goodbye to one child, his parent heard and determined that this was enough of a connection to ask for help. Although helping in the situation created a bit of inconvenience on my part, it turned out to be well worth it. As the group made the way to our family’s car, the kid’s parent saw my license plate frame for my church and drew the conclusion that it was because I was a churchgoer that I was willing to help. It was a powerful reminder that, as a Christian, I am always representing Christ. And if I am helpful to someone who has no expectation that I will do so, it can be a powerful testament of the love of our Savior.  

2. Open My Home

Although my husband has helped me become more apt to invite others for dinner and socializing, I have realized that I tend to host friends with whom I share the most in common – my Christian friends. While this may be natural, if I limit my dinner guests to only Christians, I am missing a wonderful opportunity. Inviting someone into your house almost instantly deepens your connection, building a stronger foundation upon which to have evangelistic conversations. In addition, when our family hosts others we still follow our normal practices of prayer before mealtimes, and in expecting biblical obedience from our kids. In and of itself this may initiate conversations regarding what we believe and the God that we serve . And these our conversations well worth having.

3. Give Invitations

I jokingly call my more outgoing child our family’s social coordinator because she has no problem extending invitations to others. She often invites people to have a meal with us, to visit with us, or to go with us on an adventure. She is equally as excited to invite people who don’t know God to come to church activities. Recently when our church had an outreach event, she immediately asked if we could invite a neighborhood friend who she knows is unchurched. I want to emulate this thoughtful intentionality as we enter a new school year, liberally inviting those we meet to come to church functions. They may not come, but that’s o.k.  Some may come, and that might be a first encounter which eventually leads them to Christ.

4. Speak of Eternity

My last new school year resolution is to speak often of eternal things. Most of the times conversations with school friends’ parents can stay on the surface and the trivial. However, these are not the really meaningful things in life. I am prayerfully and purposefully planning to interject these conversations with items of biblical significance as often as I can. This doesn’t have to be strange; after all, when I talk to my Christian friends we readily point to the meaning in the midst of the mundane. I can do the same with my conversations with non-Christians – even though in this case, it may be a one-sided endeavor. If someone is worried about which teacher their child will get, I can share that I’m not worried because I know that God is in control and He has a good plan. If someone asks for my advice, I can tell them which Scripture I am basing my perspective on. My heart and mind should be fixed on spiritual things and this should come out in my conversations, regardless of whether the person I am speaking to professes to believe the same things. As I do so, I prayerfully hope that the light that they see in me may cause them to ultimately long for the Light of Christ.

New school years are exciting times. But let’s remember that they are not primarily exciting because it means our kids will achieve new things. Instead, each school year provides new opportunities to share Christ and to be His hands and feet to those we may meet. Let us resolve to do this well that we might not waste any opportunity that God has given us to make Christ known and to share His love with those who don’t know Him.

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The Purposeful Drive: As A Spouse

As I previously wrote about, one of my goals is to use the time I spend in the car in beneficial and intentional ways. It is far too easy to think of the car time as inconsequential and therefore to fritter it away. One of my priorities when I drive is to use the time to invest in and strengthen my marriage. Here’s how. 

Prayer

Spending extended time in prayer in the car may seem odd to some, but for me it is a great opportunity to consider what my husband has going on that day and to ask for God’s wisdom and grace to infiltrate his life. If I know he has an important meeting or a difficult conversation, I will pray specifically for God to work in those circumstances. My time in the car is also a great opportunity for me to reflect on the type of spouse that I am and to ask God for His help in specific areas that I know could use improvement. During these times of reflection, God has graciously shown me ways in which I have sinned and have not shown the kind of sacrificial love to my spouse that is reflective of the love Christ has demonstrated to me. Many prayers of repentance and requests for help in my sanctification have been uttered in the car.

It is not only when I am by myself that I pray for my husband. I also strive to pray for my husband with my kids. This not only helps them see their father in a different light, but it also helps me demonstrate to them a vital practice that I hope they adopt someday – intentional and specific prayers for their spouse.

Plan

My husband and I live full lives and sometimes the time we spend driving to date nights are our first solid moments of interrupted time in a given week. Because my personal preference is not to spend date night on logistical or administrative issues, we will often do this on the drive to where we are going. We will talk about upcoming family events or budgeting adjustments we need to make. I know other couples who prefer more dedicated time to have these discussions, but for us, unless it is some out of the ordinary or extremely significant, our date night drives are a great time to plan. 

I also find it helpful to use the time in the car to plan how I might be more of a help and a blessing to my spouse. In the busyness of the day, sometimes it is difficult to take time to think about what events are coming up in my husband’s life and what I might do to help his days go more smoothly. However, a car ride to Costco allows me to do just that. I find that I must commit to using this time for that purpose prior to getting in the car; otherwise, it is far too easy to let the time slip away and focus on what I have going on in my life, rather than thinking of how I can bless my husband in what he has going on in his.

Learn

Much like we use the time to make plans, my husband and I can use the time we are in the car together to learn more about each other. Long car rides are especially good for this, as we can share everything from childhood memories to hopes and dreams for the future. However, even a short trip can be beneficial in this regard if we are strategic about our conversations. We may discuss something as mundane as how the work week went, to something more serious like an area that has been a challenge with one of our kids, It is these “learning” conversations that often fuel our subsequent prayer and planning times.

It is easy to think of our driving time merely as time that is spent getting to our next destination However, if we are purposeful with how we use it, it can become so much more. Our marriage can be strengthened, and we can become a better spouse as result of the time we spend praying, learning, and planning as we commute.

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