The Power of Substitution

In math, “the substitution method is used to eliminate one of the variables by replacement when solving a system of equations.” Basically, you replace an unlike variable for a similar variable in order to solve the problem. You hope that if the substitution is equivalent that you’ll get the answer you need.

In life its often the same. People substitute pursuit of a career for time with family. They substitute alcohol for happiness. They substitute sex for love. Every time they hope that the substitute contains enough of the characteristics of what they really want that the substitute will fill the need. It rarely does. But it doesn’t keep them from trying.

We do it in relationships too. We pass the time with Mr or Mrs. Right Now, instead of waiting for the Right One. We use people for the companionship that they provide even if the future of the relationship is untenable. We try to convince ourselves that what we’re doing is o.k., knowing the whole time that we settling for something that’s less than what we’re made for. In human relationships and in our relationship with God, we accept the inferior because we’re scared of the power of the perfect. We try to eliminate our real need by substituting something of like qualities. We do it to solve our problems, seldom realizing that we’re creating new ones.

Humans are made for realness not for forgery. We’re wired for the genuine, destined for what’s true. Substitution is a poor excuse and an unhealthy proposition. The only way to really solve the equation is to know what we’re missing in the first place.

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Misperceptions

Recently, a friend shared with me a story of his weekend spent volunteering with the Special Olympics. During the soccer matches members of the other team who were not challenged by any physical disabilities (both disable and non-disable players were in the game) apparently were challenged by understanding the purpose of the Special Olympics as they felt it necessary to use the avenue as an opportunity to show off their shooting techniques and run up the score. Today, I read a story of a coach who got in a fight with an 18 year-old Pee Wee referee because the referee had ejected the coach for cursing in front of his 5-6 year old players. As one of my coworkers said upon hearing these stories, “the world’s gone mad.”

What’s interesting to me about each of the stories is the perspectives that the chief actors must have had. Obviously the soccer players felt that their actions were appropriate for the setting even if they totally missed the purpose of the Special Olympics. Additionally, I’m guessing he Pee Wee coach felt his actions (both the cursing and the fighting) were entirely acceptable given the situation. If you asked any of these participants, they probably felt that their behavior was warranted and entirely justifiable. The fact that most dispassionate observers would disagree would probably not sway them. They probably figure that mere observers probably just couldn’t understand.

I think we all can get like that some times. It’s so easy to see a situation from our vantage point that it just seems to be the only view available. We believe that if others really understood it the way that we did, then they too would see things our way. The fact that they aren’t tarnished by emotional involvement only makes their analysis seem, well, analytical. We truly believe that our perspective is the right one.

Rarely though does one person have a monopoly on a given situation. Life on this Earth is filled with complex interactions each influenced by the history and experience of the individuals. Thankfully, our Judge is not tainted by these perceptions, however our relationships on Earth must be. We can’t be impartial, we can’t have a clear perception. We are all influenced by the person we choose to be.

Maybe that’s why God said “mercy triumphs over judgment!” (James 2:13) Granting mercy doesn’t require a perfect perceptive, bestowing judgment does.

Bypassing on judging the soccer players or the Pee Wee coach isn’t easy. Their actions seem so blatantly wrong. But extending mercy assures that we take one step away from becoming them.

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