Growth Relationships

Peace & Mutual Upbuilding

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From the outside looking in, it must sometimes look as if Christians are a contentious bunch. It would seem unlikely that non-believers would understand the differences we espouse in the finer points of theological understanding or doctrinal application. This isn’t to say that disagreements aren’t sometimes right, and necessary. After all, Christians’ first loyalty must be to God and His Word. If fellow believers are offering opinions or teachings that are contrary to Biblical truths then we must contend with these things. But dealing with issues is much different than delighting in them. In other words, it can be tempting to enjoy the debate so much that we forget about our witness to a watching world.

Romans 14:19 gives us a manner in which to measure our interactions with other believers. It tells us to “pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.” In other words, what we pursue, what we should focus on isn’t only what makes for peace (i.e. what we can agree on) or only that which puffs up our own opinions and knowledge, but instead, we should pursue both of these things. We can’t just focus on what’s made for peace – if that means compromising on what would be beneficial for each other’s
growth. At the same time, our goal with those who are brothers and sisters in Christ should be peace. After all, if we are united in Him,
why should we be warring against our own?

This makes for a fine line which we must walk. The goal isn’t peace at all costs. If something needs to be said to build each other up – we should do so (directly and to that person only, as Matthew 18 commands.) But we also much consider whether we should be compromising peace for something that is not crucial to our brothers’ and sisters’ growth. If it’s for building up our own reputation or storehouse of knowledge, and not of the mutual upbuilding of the Church, we would be wise to reconsider whether its worth the abdication of peace.

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Relationships

The Case of Peter’s Wife

Whenever I think of the 12 apostles I am tempted to think of them as a rag-tag group of young guys who were just hanging around as Jesus called them to follow Him. Of course, this perception is contrary to Scripture. We know that some of them left presumably thriving careers, several as fishermen and another as a tax collector. At least one of them, Peter, was married. We know this because Jesus healed Peter’s mother-in-law (Mark 1:29-31). The only way for Peter to have a mother-in-law, was for him to have a wife.

Scripture doesn’t give us much detail about Peter’s wife. Because of his seminal role in the Early Church, I think it’s safe to presume that Peter and his household met the requirements of elders given in the epistles (I Tim. 3:2-7; Titus 1:5-9). However, the details of who Peter’s wife was, how long she lived, and what her role was in her husband’s ministry is not provided. We do know, though, quite a bit about Peter. We know that he was part of Jesus’ inner circle and traveled with him throughout Israel; we know that he denied Christ there times; we know that he was instrumental in the building of the Early Church and that as a result he, along with other church leaders, faced severe persecution. And  while how his wife responded to all of these things is not share, it’s helpful to think how I may have responded if I were her. Specifically,

1) When he came home and shared that he was abandoning his career in order to follow the Lord, what would I have said?

2) Would I conduct myself in such a way that our family would give credibility to his calling and not distract from it?

3) When he was downcast over the Lord’s death and his denial, would I have encouraged and uplifted him?

4) Would I continue to support the work that God had called him to even when it meant persecution and jail?

It’s easy to respond with an enthusiastic “yes.” After all, we have the benefit of hindsight. We can see all that God did through and in the life of Peter. However, where it gets convicting is when I stop and apply the same questions to my own relationship. Specifically am I…

1) Willing to support what God has called my spouse to even if it means great personal sacrifice?

2) Conducting myself in such a way that it gives credibility to my husband’s ministry and doesn’t distract from it?

3) Encouraging him when God’s plan are uncertain and unclear?

4) Supporting him and the work that God has called him to regardless of the costs to us or our family?

As I think about my imperfection in doing this within the comfort and convenience of the world I live in, I can not help but mentally applaud Peter’s wife. And I can’t help but think that perhaps the silence of Scripture on her response is perhaps more instructive than had it been described in detail. After all, we have no reason to believe that she was anything but loving and supportive. May the same be true and rightly assumed of our marriage.

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