Relationships

Ambassador of Marriage

One of the cool things about weddings is that you get to see what’s important to a couple. Most weddings these days take months to plan, and as a result they are carefully orchestrated and coordinated events. The order of the service, the words that are spoken and the music that is played reflect something of that couple’s priorities. Weddings are a little insight into the history and the future of the relationship.

Of course, the real test of the marriage come in the days, months and years  following the wedding. That’s when you truly see what’s important to the loving couple. You get to witness how faithful they are to the vows that they made. You get to see whether their priorities have shifted and changed. And you get to see whether they value marriage in the same degree that they did when they stood before their family and friends on their special day. Because most couples will tell you on that day that marriage is a great thing and that they are looking forward to it. Years down the line, their tune often changes, and this is unfortunate. Because marriage is a great thing. Scripture is filled with reminders of the value that God places on marriage and the gift that a spouse should be. Our relationships should reflect this same appreciation for marriage that God does.

What does that mean? It means that our marriages should be ambassadors for marriage. We should speak not only well of our spouse, but of the gift that God gave us in being brought together in holy matrimony with that person. We should reflect on the blessing that it is to have a relationship that’s primary purpose is to display the love between Christ and His church. Our marriage should make marriage look good – not in a superficial, contrived way – but in a way that recognizes that God has blessed us in giving us someone to share our days with – to laugh with, to cry with, and even to struggle with. Marriage is a gift and our words and actions should reflect this.

It’s commonplace for people to ask newlyweds, “how are you enjoying married life?” and I suppose this is an understandable question. Perhaps though, we would do better to ask that of people who have been married 20, 30, 40 years and learn from the continued blessing that their marriage is. May our marriages be a similar blessing to those that ask us.

 

How can couples practically show the good gift that marriage is?

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Relationships

Pattern of Scoff

In high school, a friend of mine and I used to have an ongoing contest to see how badly we could “burn” (i.e insult) each other. I’m not sure how it got started, but we thought it was a great display of our intellectual prowess to take seemingly innocuous statements and turn them into jokes at the other’s expense. We professed not to mind, because we knew that the sarcasm was rooted in love (as well as an ill-defined competition.) However, someone wisely pointed out that even if we didn’t mind, it wasn’t the best witness to those who heard our jests. We might know that they were rooted in love, but the audience probably didn’t.

Yet, this type of sardonic banter as become commonplace in our culture, and in our churches. We insult each other for fun and then laugh it off because the other person knows that we are kidding. However, Proverbs 22:10 says that instead of laughing we should “drive out a scoffer.” It goes on to tell us that when we do so “strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.”

This is a powerful statement. We have have become accustomed to “excusing” scoffing as if it is just part of how we interact. As long as it’s funny, and as long as it isn’t offensive, it seems “acceptable.” However, this verse reminds us that even when we think we are being funny, when we are mocking someone else we are proponents of strife. Even if it doesn’t erupt in that moment, mocking begets discord.  Since we are supposed to be united with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and showing love to those who don’t know Him, scoffing should have no place in our pattern of speech. Instead, our words should be rich with love.

It’s tempting to fool ourselves into thinking that our actions don’t have consequences when we don’t witness those consequences immediately. The same is true with our words. Perhaps the reason “we can’t all just get along” is because our words convey that we don’t. Even the simple words. Even the jokes.

We might think that our everyday sarcasm doesn’t have an effect, but Scripture says that it does. Scripture says that our pattern of speech towards other people and about other people is important.  Let’s make sure that it is a pattern that gives glory to our God.

 

What are effective ways to “watch our words” to ensure that they are glorifying to God?

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