Relationships

Wronged

Sometimes it seems as if the worse thing you can do is offend somebody else.

We excuse all sorts of misbehavior, but a personal offense against another person is promptly condemned and recompense demanded. We adopt this stance when it comes to our own predilections as well. When someone does something that we consider a personal affront, we are quick to seek restitution.

While this may be natural, it is certainly not biblical. Contrary to our viewpoint, Scripture is quick to command us to look past personal offenses. In fact Proverbs 19:11 says that it is to a person’s own glory to overlook a wrong committed against them. When we are offended we are quick to demand an apology, or to talk about the injustice with our friends, but Scripture indicates that instead we should be quick to forget it; our focus should be on reconciliation not retribution.

It’s a theme that is prevalent throughout Scripture. We see echoes of it in Jesus’ response to Peter regarding how many times we should forgive. Essentially Jesus tells Peter to keep on forgiving, regardless of the personal cost or the miscarriage of justice. In I Corinthians 6 we see this concern again when Paul rebukes the church at Corinth for bringing lawsuits against one another. As Paul rightly questions them “Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?” Paul knows that there are worse things than being at the losing end of a business deal could bad. If my focus is heavenward, my concern won’t be on the personal cost to me, but on how my actions could compromise others’ perceptions of my Savior. With that end in mind, we would be quick to look past our personal offense.

Think of it this way – if you have ever been to England, you have probably stopped by Buckingham Palace and seen the guards. These individuals are famous for not flinching regardless of what others do to them. They look past all sorts of slights and offenses because they have a higher calling – they represent the queen. Christians represent the King of Kings – how much more so should we look past ills committed against us for the sake of our Savior’s reputation?

It’s tempting to respond to such a directive with all the examples of instances when we can’t look past an offense. And it’s wise to acknowledge that there are times, and Matthew 18 tells us how these situations should be addressed. But instead of looking for when we can’t put this in practice, we would be prudent to focus on all the times when we can – and get busy at doing it. After all, our Lord withstood the greatest offense of all times for our sake; we can certainly endure being wronged for His.

 

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Growth Relationships

Common Confidence

When we are young, we learn all sorts of new things. Somewhere along the way we learn how to match – we learn how to see two objects and realize that they are the same. (Hopefully somewhere along the way we’ve also learned how to color-coordinate – but that’s another story.) In elementary school, they test for this. Can a child see two objects, identify that they share common characteristics and group them together? If so, it demonstrates an ability to observe and organize – skills that are valuable as the child learns increasingly new information.

Sometimes it can be difficult to apply these same skills to our relationships with other people. We know that we need “common ground” in order to relate to one another, but there doesn’t seem to be any foundation on which to build. There may be occasions where we strive to identify those shared characteristics, but most of the time, we don’t even work that hard. If they aren’t immediately apparent, we just assume that there is no natural affinity between us.

For Christians, however, we always share something in common, namely the confidence that we have in Christ.  Because we rely on Him, and Him alone, for our salvation as well as our sanctification and to sustain us, we are joined together in the most important ways.  And it’s important to encourage each other with reminders of this truth.

We can see this in Colossians 2:1-5. Paul is concerned with the churches he has yet to visit, because he wants to encourage and strengthen them; he wants those churches to mature (See The MacArthur Bible Commentary, John MacArthur, 2005). He knows that this depends on their recognition of and deepening of their “assurance” or their confidence in Christ.  As they are joined together in love for one another, he wants them to spur each other on to a deeper and greater understanding and reliance on the One that they serve. Even though he can’t visit, he knows that their hearts will be encouraged as their shared confidence in Christ and their love for one another, propels them to an even greater assurance of who they are in Him.

It can be a hard truth to remember. When another believer disappoints us, when we seem to disagree, it can be hard to see that we have anything common. Yet what we do share is the one thing that will remain after our disaapointment fades and our disagreement ends; it is what will last for eternity.

People can be joined together for all sorts of reasons. They like the same music, the same sports, or the same style of clothes. For Christians though, our affection for each other is rooted in our common confidence in Christ. May this be what we look to when we are tempted to let our affection wane, knowing that, with fellow believers, our “common ground” is the firm foundation of Christ.

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