What Women Want

Women are a mystery.

This statement is said so often we’ve begun to just accept it as true.  In fact, it has permeated our culture. In 2000, Mel Gibson starred in What Women Want, a movie that pondered what would happen if a guy could hear everything that goes on in women’s heads. Around the same time, a popular song by Christina Aguilera seemed to answer this question as she boldly proclaimed What a Girl Wants. Both these vestiges of pop culture were based on the same thing – that guys, for the most part, don’t know what women want., and these venues sought to provide answers.

It’s not surprising that we don’t find a lot of true answers from movies and pop songs.  After all, most of the time the standard of these girls is different for the standard for the woman who is pursuing God. So it begs the question – what does the girl who is following Christ want? Although the list probably varies from person to person, there are some commonalities that I think exist. So whether you are a guy trying to be the man that a Christ-following woman needs, or a gal who is trying to determine whether a guy meets the standards, here are a few things to consider:

  • A man who is growing in Christ – Please notice that I didn’t say a “Christian.” Unfortunately, this has become too simplistic of a distinction. People may say that they are a Christian because they grew up in church, because they are American, or simply because that’s what they think you want to hear. A woman of God, however, needs someone who is growing in Christ. The man should be someone who is passionately pursuing their Savior, and in doing so, is someone who can motivate and encourage others to passionately pursue Him.
  • A man who will treat her like a princess – Along with the first thing listed, this is what my parents prayed for their girls. They wanted to us to marry someone who loved Christ and who treated us like a princess. Now this doesn’t mean that a woman wants someone who she can boss around – a loyal subject. What it means is that the woman wants someone who will cherish and honor her in the same way that a country cherishes and honors their royalty. Women want someone who will protect them and defend them – and not only  against physical attacks, but who will protect and defend their heart from hurt as well.
  • To laugh – I hesitated in putting this on the list because I don’t want every guy thinking he has to be a stand-up comedian. But, here’s the thing – life is difficult. It’s good to have someone that you can laugh with. That doesn’t meant that the guy has to daily come up with a bunch of jokes, but it does mean that they are willing to find humor in some of the more inane moments of life. And when I talk to girls about what they are looking for in a guy, “sense of humor” is almost always on the list. Plus, there’s this to consider –   true laughter happens with those that you are comfortable with – and a woman wants someone that she can be herself around.

I’m sure that there are more things that different women would add to this list. But this is a start. And perhaps in thinking through these things we find that women aren’t such a mystery after all.

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Frustrated

“Why in the world would someone do that?”

It’s a question I find myself asking all too often. Whether it’s something someone said, how they acted or the choices that they make,  I have long realized that I won’t ever completely understand people.

The problem comes when those words, actions or choices begin to affect me.  I try to be understanding and remember that people are probably asking the very same thing about me, but I still sometimes end up frustrated.

Recently, however, I’ve been struck with the realization that Jesus often contended with frustrating people too. Despite the flannelgraph stories that I have in my head where all is tranquil, in reality, Jesus had to deal with people who:

  • gossiped about Him
  • questioned Him
  • doubted Him
  • mocked Him

and eventually killed Him.

Yet instead of frustratingly lashing out at how ridiculous they were being, He

  • corrected them
  • taught them
  • helped them
  • loved them

and ultimately sacrificed Himself for them.

People’s response didn’t prohibit Christ from doing what God had called Him to do. Regardless of their actions, He focused on reflecting God’s glory. And so it should be for us.

After all, it is Christ that is at work in us.  And nothing can frustrate His purposes.

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