Relationships

A Back to School Prayer: Friendships & Our Kids

It has become a little bit of a tradition in years past that I try to share a way that we can be praying for our kids as they head back to school. This wasn’t a pattern I intended to start; it originated because of my own petitions as a mom. A new school year is a good time to think about the goals we have for our kids and to prayerfully place those plans at our Father’s feet, asking for His will for each life that He has entrusted to our care.

This year, as I thought about next school year what kept coming to mind is the influence others have on our kids and the influence our kids can have on those around them. Therefore, as we approach a new year of educational attainment, I invite you to join me in praying for our kids’ friends, and the type of friend that our kids will be.

Here are 7 specific ways you can pray for friendships and your kid this school year:

  1. Pray that they have friends that point them to Jesus – As our kids age, their friends have an increasing influence on their lives (and proportionately, their parents a lessening one.) Let’s pray that our kids have friends that will direct their thoughts & attention to Jesus, and that will help them look to Scripture to make decisions. Pray that these friends will encourage our kids to respect the authority of God, and all the other authority in their lives. “Bad company corrupts good character” (I Cor. 15:33) and conversely, good company helps build excellent character. Let’s pray that our kids are surrounded by good company.
  1. Pray that they are a friend who points others to their Savior. – Just as we pray that our kids will have friends that point them to Jesus, let’s pray that our kid is the type of friend who points people to Him. May we ask God to help our child rely on Him, and to use that security to show those that are around them the grace and mercy He gives. When people are in a quandary, may they be able to count on our kid to give wise advice that is not based on a fallible opinion or limited perspective, but on the truth of God’s Word. May our child have a character that is increasingly conformed to that of Christ’s and may they see the Savior reflected in how our child lives. 
  1. Pray that their friends are wise – If we want to be wise, Proverbs 13:20 states that we need to do life (i.e. “walk”) with the wise. Therefore, if we want our kids to be wise (and we should) we should pray that they surround themselves with wise friends. We should pray specifically that our kids’ friends are wise in the ways of God, that they are being brought up in the fear and knowledge of the Lord. However, recognizing that our kids will have friends who are not being raised in that manner, we can still be praying that they have wisdom in what they commend and what they pursue. In other words, I want to pray that my kids’ friends from non-Christian homes also have sensitive consciences and have hearts that are inclined to what is pure, noble, honorable, lovely and of good repute. I know that they will have an influence on my children, and these are the things that I want my kids to also be inclined towards. 
  1. Pray that they are a friend to those who do not have many. – In considering the type of friend that we want our kids to be, it would be good to pray that they are the type of person who is a friend to those who don’t have many. Recognizing that while we were still His enemies, Christ died for us (Ro. 5;8) should compel us to want to be people who show love, grace, and mercy to those who are lonely, weak, and hurting. This may seem like a lot to ask of our kids, but we should desire to train them from a young age to appreciate how fearfully and wonderfully God has made every single person. Let us pray that as we show our kids what it means to love like Jesus does, that they will be an extension of that type of grace and kindness to those at their school who are most in need of a friend. 
  1. Pray that they have friends who encourage them. We all know how cruel kids can be and how careless words far too easily usher forth from their lips. We all probably have memories of things that were said to us that broke our heart. In those moments, it is often our friends that we turn to for encouragement. Let us pray that our kids have friends that help them see through the emptiness of unkind words and who help strengthen their resolve to be who God created them to be. May our kids have friends who build them up, not tear them down, and may their friends help them appreciate the value and dignity of being an image bearer of God. 
  1. Pray that they speak words of grace to their friends. In a world filed with unkind words, may our kids be people whose tone is different. Instead of responding in kind when they are the recipients of harshness, may they be gentle and thoughtful, slow to anger and abounding in kindness. May others count on them to say things that are uplifting, rather than things that disparage. May what they say and how they say it, bring glory to God. 
  1. Pray that their friendships will help them love God and love others more, and that Jesus will use those relationships to grow His Kingdom. – Of course, the summation and the motivation of all our prayers for our kids should be that they know and trust in Jesus as their Lord and Savior. We should be praying that God uses all our kids’ friends to help accomplish this in their lives. May even the difficult friendships help refine them and reveal to them how futile it ultimately is to put our security in anything but Christ. Additionally, may we pray that God would use us to draw others to Him because of the people that we meet because of the friends our kids make. As we interact with parents and guardians of our kids’ friends, may we be ready to give a reason for the hope that is in us (I Peter 3:15). May we be representative of His love, and may we look for ways that we can serve the families of our kids’ friends. May we ask God to give us wisdom and insight into how we should invest our time to maximize our evangelistic opportunities. And may we pray that when we look back at this season in our kid’s lives, that we will see how He used the friendships they had and our faithfulness to act, to bring many into a right relationship with Him. 

Our kids’ friends will have a significant influence on them, and they will have an opportunity to have a significant influence on their friends. May we faithfully pray that God uses those relationships for the good of our kids, and the good of their friends. May we recognize that every friendship is an opportunity to shine the love and faithfulness of Christ. And may we make the most of that opportunity, for the sake of Eternity. 

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Purpose

New (School) Year Resolutions

Like many parents, I view the start of a new school year with mixed emotions. As I have written about previously, there is some eager anticipation as we find out who our kids’ teachers will be, which classmates will be in their class, and what the workload for the school year will be. While there is a tendency to let this anticipation grow into a desire for my children to have the “best” situation for them, I have committed instead to let my hope for them drive me to pray that they will be a blessing to whomever God places in their path.

This year as I anticipate the start of school, I realize that just as the school year will afford my children many opportunities, their new classrooms and classmates also create opportunities for me. Each person in their class represents parents that I will encounter that, apart from my children’s classroom assignment, I would likely never meet. Not only will be children make new connections, but if I am intentional, so will I.

With this in mind, I prayerfully considered how I can use this school year to its fullest. Recognizing that while it is important that my children accomplish their educational goals, it is infinitely more important that I consider how our family might be used to accomplish God’s eternal objectives. In short, I must commit to use this new school year for God’s glory, and trust that as we do so, He will ensure that it is also used for my children’s growth.

Therefore, I have resolved that this new school year, I will commit to the following:

1. Pray for the Parents

I often pray for the students that my kids will encounter, mainly because I want my children to become friends with godly individuals. However, I have recently been convicted that I also need to pray for the parents of those kids. The purpose is two-fold. First, I pray for the parents because I want my kids’ friends to grow up in God-honoring households. I recognize that eventually the choices that these parents make could end up impacting my kid via their friends. If my kids have friends whose parents are holding them accountable to God’s standards, this makes it more likely that these friends will be encouraging my kids to make wise choices. This is a good thing!

Secondly, I pray for these parents that I might have wisdom on how to best minister to them. I want to have eyes to see those who are hurting and who need help, knowing that as I am a blessing to them, it may open the door for Gospel conversations. I had a profound reminder of this last year as my kids and I were leaving school one day. My social butterfly child was filling our walk to the car with a bevy of farewells. As she said goodbye to one child, his parent heard and determined that this was enough of a connection to ask for help. Although helping in the situation created a bit of inconvenience on my part, it turned out to be well worth it. As the group made the way to our family’s car, the kid’s parent saw my license plate frame for my church and drew the conclusion that it was because I was a churchgoer that I was willing to help. It was a powerful reminder that, as a Christian, I am always representing Christ. And if I am helpful to someone who has no expectation that I will do so, it can be a powerful testament of the love of our Savior.  

2. Open My Home

Although my husband has helped me become more apt to invite others for dinner and socializing, I have realized that I tend to host friends with whom I share the most in common – my Christian friends. While this may be natural, if I limit my dinner guests to only Christians, I am missing a wonderful opportunity. Inviting someone into your house almost instantly deepens your connection, building a stronger foundation upon which to have evangelistic conversations. In addition, when our family hosts others we still follow our normal practices of prayer before mealtimes, and in expecting biblical obedience from our kids. In and of itself this may initiate conversations regarding what we believe and the God that we serve . And these our conversations well worth having.

3. Give Invitations

I jokingly call my more outgoing child our family’s social coordinator because she has no problem extending invitations to others. She often invites people to have a meal with us, to visit with us, or to go with us on an adventure. She is equally as excited to invite people who don’t know God to come to church activities. Recently when our church had an outreach event, she immediately asked if we could invite a neighborhood friend who she knows is unchurched. I want to emulate this thoughtful intentionality as we enter a new school year, liberally inviting those we meet to come to church functions. They may not come, but that’s o.k.  Some may come, and that might be a first encounter which eventually leads them to Christ.

4. Speak of Eternity

My last new school year resolution is to speak often of eternal things. Most of the times conversations with school friends’ parents can stay on the surface and the trivial. However, these are not the really meaningful things in life. I am prayerfully and purposefully planning to interject these conversations with items of biblical significance as often as I can. This doesn’t have to be strange; after all, when I talk to my Christian friends we readily point to the meaning in the midst of the mundane. I can do the same with my conversations with non-Christians – even though in this case, it may be a one-sided endeavor. If someone is worried about which teacher their child will get, I can share that I’m not worried because I know that God is in control and He has a good plan. If someone asks for my advice, I can tell them which Scripture I am basing my perspective on. My heart and mind should be fixed on spiritual things and this should come out in my conversations, regardless of whether the person I am speaking to professes to believe the same things. As I do so, I prayerfully hope that the light that they see in me may cause them to ultimately long for the Light of Christ.

New school years are exciting times. But let’s remember that they are not primarily exciting because it means our kids will achieve new things. Instead, each school year provides new opportunities to share Christ and to be His hands and feet to those we may meet. Let us resolve to do this well that we might not waste any opportunity that God has given us to make Christ known and to share His love with those who don’t know Him.

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