My Favorite Valentine’s

When I was six years old, as part of his military service, my dad was stationed in Japan. We had moved to California the year before, and looking back, I’m amazed at how my mom handled all the transitions. As a little first grader though, I supposed I hadn’t lived long enough to realize that all of these changes in a short period of time were a little out of the ordinary. So I just rolled with the punches, and waited for my dad to come home.

Thankfully, my dad’s time away didn’t keep him from celebrating any of the major holidays with us. He did, however, miss Valentine’s Day. I still remember my feeling of wonderment when someone came to the door and delivered flowers to my mom and red balloons to me and my sister. Each balloon pictured a rabbit holding a bouquet and above it, some message of affection.  I was thrilled. Even from far away, my daddy was thinking of me and sending me his love.

It meant all the more because it was sort of an unusual gesture for my dad. See, my dad loved all his girls, and was more expressive than most guys with his words of affection. But, he was also pragmatic. Normally, he would have been more inclined to take us out for a fun day filled with lasting memories, then to give us a mylar balloon that would quickly deflate. But since distance and the 13 time zones that separated us prevented that, he did what he could to make sure we knew we were loved.

The ironic thing is that although my dad wasn’t prone to giving “disposable” gifts because of their relatively short shelf life, I kept that balloon for years.  It was a poignant reminder of my daddy’s love. And my life was filled with such reminders. Tokens of affection, moments of instruction, and time spent together that let me know my dad considered his relationship with me an important one.

When my dad passed away, numerous people came up to my sister and I after the service to tell us that they hope that when they died, their children would say half of the good things that we said about our dad. I remember distinctly thinking, “You can still make that happen.” They still had the opportunity to purposefully and intentionally show their children their love. That’s what my daddy did. Whether it was with a rabbit holding a bouquet of flowers, or through always having a listening ear, he lived a life of love. And it was because of that intentional way of living, that when he passed away, everyone, from co-workers to family to friends, knew what was important to him. After all, Jesus made it very clear that people would know we are His by how we love. And what was most important to my dad, was to be Christ’s kid.

So whether it’s Valentine’s Day or a “normal day” may we all purposefully look for ways to show love. And in doing so, may we do what my dad did – give other people reminders and memories to hang on to so that they can have confidence that they are loved. Not only by us, but most importantly, by their Father above.

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Gratitude for the Expected

As loyal readers are no doubt aware, I have great parents. Part of what makes my parents great was their relationship with each other. One of the many things that I grew to appreciate about my parents is that whenever we went out to dinner, my mom told my dad “thank you.” It didn’t matter that they had been together since she was 16, had been married more than 30 years, and that sometimes “out to dinner” was a drive through Taco Bell, she still expressed her gratitude to my dad. And it wasn’t just for the sake of platitudes; my mom actually meant it.

This practice of expressing gratitude for something that we’ve come to expect is something I’ve adopted in my relationship with my own husband. I realized this as he drove for hours on a work trip that he had accompanied me on. In my mind, driving is something that a husband does. (I realize others may differ on this, and that’s o.k.) I’m grateful that my husband is willing to do so. The fact that I expect it, doesn’t mean I’m not appreciative for it.

This practice should also be true in my relationship with God. Cultivating a heart of gratitude, means recognizing that while I expect the sun to rise in the morning, it certainly doesn’t have to. The fact that it did, is something that I appreciate. This plays out in a variety of ways – big and small. Whether it’s my loving husband, the home we share, the friends God has placed in my life, or the fact that today I got to go to a job I love, I’ve been given so much. After awhile the bounty of His gifts can become routine. Instead of just accepting them, I need to remind myself of how appreciative I am for them, and express my thankfulness accordingly.

I think we are used to giving thanks for an unexpected blessing, when God grants our “unthinkable” request. However, may we increasingly be just as grateful for the gifts we’ve already been given, for the ones we’ve come to expect.

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