Incomparable

Nowadays, it’s popular to tell kids how special they are. We are told that we should focus on what makes them unique, to play to their strengths, and to not worry about the areas where they may lack talent or ability. Kids are supposed to be self-assured, to be confident, and to believe that they can do anything.

Even though it doesn’t take kids very long to realize that’s not true.

They can’t do anything. After all, as I once said, despite any desire I may have, I was never going to be a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. Some things are inherent to who we are, and no amount of willpower or fortitude will change this. So young people are forced to reconcile what they’ve been told with what they can clearly see as reality. And more often than not, this leads them to compare.

“I may not be as fast as Bobby, but I’m faster than Joe”

“I’m the second prettiest girl in the class – we voted on it.”

“I may not be smart, but at least I’m smarter than George.”

And so on and so on, until they’ve made their lists, assigned their categories, and everyone fits in a nice little box.

And then those children grow up. They take those same lists, and those same categories, and begin checking off boxes.

“Kyle got his first sports car on the day he turned 18; I want one too.”

“Susie was married by 21, so I should be too.”

“John bought his first house; that means I should be buying one too.”

And on and on it goes.

However, in reality, just like God didn’t apportion everyone the same set of skills and talents, God didn’t write everyone’s life story the same way. What He has planned for one person at a certain stage in life, may not be what He has planned for another. God wants to use you for the purposes He has planned for you, not what He has planned for someone else.

And if we stop to think about it, we should be grateful that’s the case. Because it means God has fashioned and designed our lives in such a way that through it, He gets the most glory. He’s gifted us and placed us in circumstances so that He can use our lives for His Kingdom’s sake.  He’s fashioned our story so that it can become part of His story.

And for the Christian, there’s nothing that can compare to that.

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Cleaned Up

A few years ago, I was in the process of writing my dissertation. At the same time, I was working 55+ hours per week as a Director of Marketing. It was a busy season, to say the least. As a result of this hectic schedule, the cleanliness of my apartment began to suffer. One day as I was stressing over yet another week of missed chores someone suggested maybe I should hire someone to come in and clean. It was an unseemly luxury to me, as my mother had raised two kids, worked, and managed to keep her house clean, but I decided that the dust needed to be cleared. So as pretentious as it made me feel, I got a house cleaner.

I quickly learned, however, that having someone come into clean my place brought out my quirkiness. I started cleaning on the day before the housekeeper arrived. I wanted to make sure that my home looked presentable before someone came in, even though that person was coming for the sole purpose of cleaning it. It never made sense, and yet it didn’t stop me from washing dishes, picking things up, and organizing piles every night before I was expecting the housekeeper.

I think sometimes, we do the same thing when we go to church. We start washing away our warts, picking up our lives, and organizing our mess. We want to look presentable to the rest of God’s family.  While  it’s admirable to increasingly want our lives to look more like Christ’s, I fear that often our motives are more about what people will think of us, and not whether or not we are reflecting Him.

And I think sometimes the rest of the church promotes this.

We don’t want to see people’s warts – we want to see their illusional beauty.

We don’t want to see people’s hurts – we want to hear only about their triumphs.

We don’t want to reveal our struggles – and so we don’t want others to either.

And while there’s a danger that when we say “Come just as you are,” people could wrongly get the impression that God doesn’t want them to change (which He surely does), it doesn’t mean that we should encourage people to hide the truth of their mess. Iron can only sharpen iron if both pieces know where to strike. In the same way, we’re more effective in encouraging people in their Christian walk, when we know where our words should be directed.

Which means that sometimes, we have to be willing to let our untidyness be seen, so that others can help us clean.

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