Relationships

In Defense of Nice

Recently I’ve had the awkward experience of someone assuming that I “liked” one of my guy friends. Not knowing the person well, I couldn’t set the record straight, although it did make me wonder why the thought would have entered their mind. In sharing with another friend, he wisely said, “maybe she just doesn’t know that you’re nice to everybody and so she thinks it means something.” I agreed and shrugged my shoulders. What else could I do? It’s not a situation that I’m totally unfamiliar with and through the years I’ve learned it’s easier to roll with it rather than defend my intentions.

What’s been impressed on my heart even more recently though is that while people may think I’m nice, I’m not sure I’m very good at sharing the motivations behind it. Even some of my best friends just think, “well that’s Natalie, she’s a nice person”, which while I wish were true, I also recognize is horribly inaccurate. I’m not a nice person. I’m selfish, and a little too independent, and can be as stubborn as all get out. Who I am is a sinner, who, through God’s saving grace, is hopefully developing a regenerate heart that more accurately reflects His love and His goodness each and every day. Its not that I’m nice – it’s that God’s been so gracious to me, I’m compelled to share His goodness with others.

I haven’t figured out how to more accurately conveyed this since I’m one of those people who show love through actions rather than words. But maybe knowing more clearly in my own mind why I am nice will help me share this motivation with others. And then maybe my reflection of Christ’s love will shine a little brighter as a result.

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Growth

Status Symbol

My car has very few identifiable marks. There are no bumper stickers, no license plate frames, and certainly no vanity license to give even a hint of who the car might belong to. Maybe it’s a part of my desire to exude mystery and intrigue. Maybe I’m just lazy and cheap. Regardless of the reason my car is free from the adornment featured on many vehicles nowadays.

My musings on cars, and the lack of flashiness that mine possessed, occurred to me as I was spending another morning driving down the Orange County freeway. I’m not sure when cars become a canvas for furthering our personal expression but somewhere along the way they did. You can find out a lot about a person by reading their car. Often times you’ll learn a person’s political believes, favorite bands, religious adherence, sport team’s allegiance and even sometimes their brand choice for personal computers. An object that was intended to get us from Point A to Point B is now another opportunity to achieve status in the minds of the world. With it, we convey the groups that we belong to, espouse our personal philosophies and challenge others to disagree. It’s just another way that we advance our agenda. Even “Christian” bumper stickers are usually us-focused. They rarely convey the grace and justice of God. Instead, they are almost singularly about our religious experience.

It’s interesting to me that we use our cars to convey membership in a certain club, to express commitments to certain belief, but we rarely use our time to build relationships that could do the same. It’s almost like we want the car to speak for us, which of course it was never meant to do. It might convey status but it can never show love. It may identify membership but it can never illuminate grace. It may preach philosophies but it can never be a messenger of good news.

Using our cars as a status symbol, as way to further demonstrate our commitment to God is a good thing, but let us be wary less it become a substitution for the real thing.

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