Growing in Truth & Love

Years ago, Toys ‘R Us had a commercial jingle with the following words:

I don’t want to grow up, I’m a Toys ‘R Us kid

There’s a million toys at Toys ‘R Us that I can play with.

From bikes to trains to video games, it’s the biggest toy store there is.

I don’t want to grow up because if I did, I couldn’t be a Toys “R Us kid.

While the lyrics may have been new, the sentiments expressed in the song certainly weren’t. J.M. Barrie captured a similar disposition when he wrote Peter Pan. More recently, others have articulated the growing inclination among young people to adopt this philosophy as a mantra for their life. Despite the desire of many children to speed the maturation process along, somewhere along the way, many lose their ambition and instead revert to attempting to delay the assumption of responsibility that adulthood brings.

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Scripture, however, is filled with exhortation for the need to grow up – not only in terms of our earthly responsibilities, but in terms of our eternal ones as well. One of the ways that we demonstrate this maturity is in our relationships with one another. As Paul writes in Ephesians 4:14-15:

so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes. Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ…”

The contrast made here is perhaps unexpected. Spiritually speaking, children are those that are easily swayed by those around them. This does not come as a surprise as it is not an unfamiliar sight to see those who are immature in their faith be easily convinced of things that are contrary to Scripture. In contrast, it doesn’t state that mature Christians aren’t (although one can make the case from Scripture that mature Christians do in fact stand strong in the faith.) Instead, Paul writes that those who are “grown” in Christ are those that proactively speak truth in love to one another. It’s the willingness to exhort, encourage, and correct each other that sets apart the mature from the immature. If we do that – if we spur each other on with the truth of God’s Word, and sharpen one another with the double-edge sword of truth, than we will be strengthen in the Lord. Those who provide this admonition will grow in their faith, as will those who receive it.

Doing this requires two things – it requires growing in the knowledge of the Truth, and growing in love. As we mature in these things, not only will we know what needs to be said, but we will be prone to say it in such a way that we are motivated not by our own knowledge, but by loving concern for those God has placed in our lives. As such, not only will we be doing the work that God has called us to do, but we will be helping others do so as well (Eph. 4:16).

It can be a hard thing to do – to speak the truth in love to those around us. And like those kids in the Toys ‘R Us commercial we may be tempted to say “I don’t want to grow up.” But God has called us to something greater than immaturity, and as we are willing to lovingly speak the truth, we and those He’s given us relationships with, will grow in Him.

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Corrupting Words

There are times that we immediately recognize the damage of our words.

A fight erupts, tears ensue or anger explodes that lets us know that what we have just said inflicted pain.

Hopefully at these times we are quick to seek forgiveness. The fracture in the relationship is obvious and so is the need to mend it. The damage of our words is evident and so our rush to repair it is hopefully swift.

However, these might not be the only times that our words are causing harm. Ephesians 4:29 says let no “corrupting talk” proceed from our mouth. Corruption isn’t something that takes place immediately. Much like the bike that is left out in the rain will slowly start to build rust and have the integrity of its frame compromise, so our words may eat away at our loved one’s heart. It’s not just the zingers and the bold fights that cause harm; it’s the slow demise that comes from words that didn’t cause an immediate response but penetrated deep inside. Things may look good on the outside, but the person is slowly being destroyed within.

That’s why God commands us to avoid this talk altogether. We are told to say those things that are useful only for building up, not those things that will lead to destruction. Because while the damage of hurtful words may not be readily apparent, the damage is still there. The bonds of our relationships are being weakened and compromised when we say words that our meant to bring someone else down. Even if it was meant as a joke. Even if we think they don’t care.

In our relationships,our goal should be to reflect His love more – to be instruments of His in the work that He is doing in someone else’s life. This is impossible to do if our words are destroying the person that He created.

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