Purpose

Lowered Expectations

Girl on a swing
©iStockphoto.com/zimmytws

When my husband and I announced that we were expecting an addition to our family, people often asked us whether we wanted a boy or a girl. I found myself giving the standard reply of “It doesn’t really matter to us. We just want them to be healthy.” It was an accepted answer and most times the conversations turned to the next question regarding the pregnancy.

However, the more I responded in this way, the more convicted I was. While it was true that I wanted (and still want) our baby to be healthy, I came to realize that this was mostly about the kind of life that I wanted for her while on this Earth. After all, most parents imagine their kids participating in sports, running on the playground, interacting with friends, and growing up in what we’ve come to accept as the “normal” way. We want to protect our children from pain, from ridicule or from any other unpleasant experience. We equate physical health with a kind of normalcy that we can expect and enjoy.

As a Christian and a mom, however, my primary concern shouldn’t be for my child’s physical well-being. My overriding desire shouldn’t be that her body functions in the way it was designed to do. My most pressing concern should be reserved for her spiritual health. More than desiring a “normal” life for her while she walks this Earth, I should desire that she has an exceptional life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

This is a hard realization to come to. After all, as I anticipate the arrival of our little one, her eternal impact seems a long way off. But time moves quickly and before I know it, she will need to make a decision about whom she will serve (Mt. 6:24). My prayer is that she will choose Christ. And if this prayer is answered in the affirmative, I know that by definition her life will not be an easy one (Jn. 16:33). She, like all of Christ’s disciples, will be challenged because of her faith. She will experience the ridicule that comes from shunning the things of the world in order to please Him. She will know the pain of sacrifice and the heartache of fractured relationships. Her life won’t be an easy one – as it is not for any servant of the King – but my prayer is that it will be a great one – for His Kingdom and His purposes.

As I anticipate her arrival, my hope is that I can maintain this perspective. I pray that I don’t settle for accepting the world’s definition of what I should want for my child but I look towards God’s. I still want her to be physically health, it is true, but even more so, I want her to be spiritually sound, growing in wisdom and in favor with God and man.  My desire is that God would capture her heart at a young age and that she would serve Him regardless of the costs. God’s plan for her may not look like what I desire for my child, but I know that His love for her is even greater than my own. As such, I want my desires for her life to aligns with His. I don’t want to settle for lowered expectations – I want to embrace eternal ones.

Again, this is not easy. But when I think about what really matters in the life of my little girl, this is it. And what matters in her life is what matters in my own as well. May I not be willing to accept lowered expectations for her – or for me. May I wholeheartedly embrace what God desires for each of our lives knowing that He is working all things together for His purposes. May my heart’s cry not be for what’s easy, but for what’s eternal.

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Hope

Temporary Living

iStock_000000095602XSmall“This too shall pass.”

“To everything a season.”

These phrases were common parlance during my college years. My roommates and I would say them to one another as reminders that whatever we were going through it was a temporary condition. The going may not be easy at the time, but as one of the only certainty in life, things were bound to change. We could have confidence that most situations we faced weren’t permanent. In fact, most of them simply required a good night’s sleep and a new day in order to initiate a change in perspective.

What I didn’t fully appreciate in college was that the reality of these statements extended beyond the types of problem that we encountered. We used them as motivation during tough study times or temporary heartbreak; in situations where we could “see” the end goal even if we didn’t know how we were going to get there. However, many situations are not like that. Often, the end is not in sight, and yet for the child of God, the reality of these statements still holds. To everything there is a season, and whatever we face, we can be confident that it too shall pass because we know that anything that happens on this Earth is just a temporary condition.  This Earth will pass away (Mt. 24:35), but we will be with Him in eternity (John 3:16).

At the same time, it is important to remember that the things on this Earth can matter for eternity. While our conditions will change, how we responded to them can be a witness for our great God and King. This world is not our home, it is true, but while we are visitors here, being a child of God means that we are eager to be expended on behalf of our Savior who desires that no one would perish but that all would come to know Him (2 Peter 3:9).

How do we do this then? How do we appreciate the temporality of life’s problems while not ignoring the significance of the eternal impact? Here are a few considerations:

1) Ask what will matter in a hundred years. – This is borrowed from the senior pastor at the church I attend who has frequently reminded us that most things will not matter in a hundred years. However, some things will. A person’s eternal destiny will be of utmost importance regardless of the season or time on the calendar. If what you are contending with will have an impact a hundred years from now, then it can not be easily dismissed as something that is “temporary.” We should concentrate our efforts in those areas that will matter – and not in the things that do not carry such significance.

2) Consider God’s perspective on the problem. – This can be difficult to do as we rarely know exactly what God is doing in a particular situation. However, Scripture is replete with verses that remind us of God’s perspective in general. For example, we know that He says His “yoke is easy” and “burden is light” (Mt. 11:30).  If the situation that we are contending with feels like a weight that is bringing us down, it is likely because we are carrying the wrong load. If our concern has to do with the future, we can have confidence in the fact that He promises to “works all things together for good for those who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28). When seen from the perspective of Heaven, the things that can consume our minds must often look pretty foolish. By focusing on God’s perspective, we can appreciate the fact that while we must contend with situations here, those situations are not the end of the story.

3) Pray for for eternal insight. – Sometimes we get wrapped up in problems here, because we are forgetting the temporal nature of our time spent on Earth. Other times, we may be tempted to ignore a situation due to our own laziness masked as a concern with “what is above” rather than the things below. However, we often don’t know the impact that our lives can have on others. We need to not only consider things from God’s perspective based on what we know, but we need to ask for His insight so we can see the particular ways that the situation we face may be used for HIs glory. We may not know who is paying attention, but God does. We need HIs wisdom to understand what words, responses and actions may draw someone else to Him.

4) Concentrate on what’s to come. – We need to not merely consider the end of the problem, but the end of this life. God’s Word has promises of the rewards that are in store for His children as they pour out their lives to honor and glorify Him (See Ja. 1:12; Mt. 25:14-30) . Too often our perspective is just on getting through the difficult times. As C.S. Lewis reminds us, however, it is those who are most focused on heaven who do the most Earthly good. If we want to have an impact in this life, we should seek to appreciate and understand our eternal destination more. As we do so, we will increasingly understand how much that demands our attention, is not the same as what will demand our attention there. May our minds and our efforts be ever focused on the things that will matter in our Heavenly home, and not merely our Earthly one.

This idea of appreciating the temporality of this life, while also desiring that this life be used for eternal significance can be a difficult paradox to embrace. However, this is the reality for the child of God. May we understand that while this life is temporal, our job is to use it for the glory and honor of Christ. As we encounter problems here, may how we respond reverberate in Eternity.

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