Relationships

Blessed

There are a lot of practices from biblical times that I think we can all agree we’re grateful that they are no longer a part of our everyday life (animal sacrifices springs to mind as perhaps the most prescient example.) However, there are other historical traditions that we might be a little sadder to see past. For me, one of these is the concepts of blessings, not the pray-before-your-meal kind, but the purposeful commissioning by an elderly parent. After all, this was a time where a father could send forth his children with an insightful and meaningful word for their lives which would hopefully guide their conduct when their parent was no longer with them. Unfortunately, nowadays people are often more interested in the amount of wealth that they will receive as an inheritance, instead of the amount of wisdom. Perhaps, as a rsult, we need this practice of a blessing even more.

When my daddy went home to be with Jesus, he left too quickly to extend a formal blessing on his kids. However, I must admit that I don’t feel exceedingly deprived of this experience because my dad lived a life where he regularly imparted wisdom to us. He didn’t need to have a “final word” because my dad had the final word every day he lived, and he was intentional about making sure he blessed us with it.

One of the greatest blessings that my dad gave me was only realized after he left this Earth.  Like many, after my dad went Home, it was important to me to live a life that my dad would be pleased with. The blessing came in the fact that I realized that the life that would please my Earthly dad, is the same one that would please my Heavenly One. And although he didn’t have the chance to “send me off” with these words, they resonate with my soul just as much as if he had. His blessing to me was his regular, intentional instruction to live to make God happy, and in doing so, I know that I would also please him.  This was the way my daddy raised me. Until I see him again, I know that’s how I should continue to live.

In the Bible, people received all sorts of words of blessing from their dad. Some of them were promised prosperity, some of them were promised descendants. While all of these are great,  and I wouldn’t mind them, I can’t help but think that my blessing is the best.

Postscript – As I’ve written before, when my dad passed away, many parents shared with us that they wished their children thought of them as we thought of my dad. The best way I know to do that is to bless your children as my daddy blessed me. If that hasn’t been your mindset, I hope you’ll consider changing that today. If you do, you and your kids will be forever blessed.

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Relationships

My Favorite Valentine’s

When I was six years old, as part of his military service, my dad was stationed in Japan. We had moved to California the year before, and looking back, I’m amazed at how my mom handled all the transitions. As a little first grader though, I supposed I hadn’t lived long enough to realize that all of these changes in a short period of time were a little out of the ordinary. So I just rolled with the punches, and waited for my dad to come home.

Thankfully, my dad’s time away didn’t keep him from celebrating any of the major holidays with us. He did, however, miss Valentine’s Day. I still remember my feeling of wonderment when someone came to the door and delivered flowers to my mom and red balloons to me and my sister. Each balloon pictured a rabbit holding a bouquet and above it, some message of affection.  I was thrilled. Even from far away, my daddy was thinking of me and sending me his love.

It meant all the more because it was sort of an unusual gesture for my dad. See, my dad loved all his girls, and was more expressive than most guys with his words of affection. But, he was also pragmatic. Normally, he would have been more inclined to take us out for a fun day filled with lasting memories, then to give us a mylar balloon that would quickly deflate. But since distance and the 13 time zones that separated us prevented that, he did what he could to make sure we knew we were loved.

The ironic thing is that although my dad wasn’t prone to giving “disposable” gifts because of their relatively short shelf life, I kept that balloon for years.  It was a poignant reminder of my daddy’s love. And my life was filled with such reminders. Tokens of affection, moments of instruction, and time spent together that let me know my dad considered his relationship with me an important one.

When my dad passed away, numerous people came up to my sister and I after the service to tell us that they hope that when they died, their children would say half of the good things that we said about our dad. I remember distinctly thinking, “You can still make that happen.” They still had the opportunity to purposefully and intentionally show their children their love. That’s what my daddy did. Whether it was with a rabbit holding a bouquet of flowers, or through always having a listening ear, he lived a life of love. And it was because of that intentional way of living, that when he passed away, everyone, from co-workers to family to friends, knew what was important to him. After all, Jesus made it very clear that people would know we are His by how we love. And what was most important to my dad, was to be Christ’s kid.

So whether it’s Valentine’s Day or a “normal day” may we all purposefully look for ways to show love. And in doing so, may we do what my dad did – give other people reminders and memories to hang on to so that they can have confidence that they are loved. Not only by us, but most importantly, by their Father above.

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