Relationships

Pattern of Scoff

In high school, a friend of mine and I used to have an ongoing contest to see how badly we could “burn” (i.e insult) each other. I’m not sure how it got started, but we thought it was a great display of our intellectual prowess to take seemingly innocuous statements and turn them into jokes at the other’s expense. We professed not to mind, because we knew that the sarcasm was rooted in love (as well as an ill-defined competition.) However, someone wisely pointed out that even if we didn’t mind, it wasn’t the best witness to those who heard our jests. We might know that they were rooted in love, but the audience probably didn’t.

Yet, this type of sardonic banter as become commonplace in our culture, and in our churches. We insult each other for fun and then laugh it off because the other person knows that we are kidding. However, Proverbs 22:10 says that instead of laughing we should “drive out a scoffer.” It goes on to tell us that when we do so “strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.”

This is a powerful statement. We have have become accustomed to “excusing” scoffing as if it is just part of how we interact. As long as it’s funny, and as long as it isn’t offensive, it seems “acceptable.” However, this verse reminds us that even when we think we are being funny, when we are mocking someone else we are proponents of strife. Even if it doesn’t erupt in that moment, mocking begets discord.  Since we are supposed to be united with our brothers and sisters in Christ, and showing love to those who don’t know Him, scoffing should have no place in our pattern of speech. Instead, our words should be rich with love.

It’s tempting to fool ourselves into thinking that our actions don’t have consequences when we don’t witness those consequences immediately. The same is true with our words. Perhaps the reason “we can’t all just get along” is because our words convey that we don’t. Even the simple words. Even the jokes.

We might think that our everyday sarcasm doesn’t have an effect, but Scripture says that it does. Scripture says that our pattern of speech towards other people and about other people is important.  Let’s make sure that it is a pattern that gives glory to our God.

 

What are effective ways to “watch our words” to ensure that they are glorifying to God?

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Relationships

First Response

When a disaster strikes in the United States, there are teams of people who have been especially prepared to handle such circumstances. These “first response” groups, as they are known, are equipped to know how to best deal with a chaotic and unpredictable situation. They have the skills and resources to help minimize damage and protect the most number of people as possible.

In our lives, we also have a “first response” team – a group of people that we turn to when things aren’t going well.  Similarly, we may be part of someone else’s team; we may be the person that they count on to help them weather a storm. Unsurprisingly, these people are usually the individuals that are closest to us – our spouses, our parents, or dear friends.  They rely on us in their moments of greatest needs.

Yet sometimes we don’t treat this position as the privilege that it is. Just like the emergency “first responders” are a select and esteemed group, we have been carefully selected by the people who count on us. This means that we need to be equipped and prepared to deal with their life emergency.

Practically this means at least three things:

1) We need to know the proper instructions – If people come to us for help and assistance, the most helpful thing that we can do is to point them to the One who knows their situation intimately and can provide the most powerful help imaginable. That means we need to know God’s Word. We need to know what God says about their situation, how they should respond, and the promises that He offers to those who call on Him.

2) We need to practice love. – The reason the first responders are so good at their job is that they practice. Simulations try to create the types of situations that they might find themselves in. We don’t have to create virtual events in order for us to practice. We have the opportunity to practice sacrificial love each and every day. This type of love isn’t interested in what benefits us, but what is beneficial to them. If we are doing this when there isn’t an emergency, it will likely be our response when there is one as well.

3) We need to be equipped with encouragement. –  Being a first responder can be difficult because there is chaos everywhere. Sometimes our first reaction is to try to “fix” the problem – by telling people what they are doing wrong or by removing barriers for them. However, while we may be able to provide a solution, usually when people turn to us, the first thing that they need to hear is to keep walking the path that God has for them. Much like a trapped patient doesn’t need to hear about the surgery they will eventually need to have, we need to give them the “first aid” first – we need to stop the bleeding – and then work on the subsequent steps. Of course, if someone is walking contrary to God’s will, we can’t encourage that – but except in these situations the first words on our lips should be bandages of encouragement. We can move on to the detail prescription afterward.


Being a first responder isnt’ easy, but they play a critical role in saving lives after a catastrophe.  It won’t be easy for us either, but if we know the proper instructions, practice love and are equipped with encouragement, we can have confidence that we can be someone our loved ones can count on when they face their own time of need.


What’s missing from the list that is critical for “first responders?”

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