Cleaned Up

A few years ago, I was in the process of writing my dissertation. At the same time, I was working 55+ hours per week as a Director of Marketing. It was a busy season, to say the least. As a result of this hectic schedule, the cleanliness of my apartment began to suffer. One day as I was stressing over yet another week of missed chores someone suggested maybe I should hire someone to come in and clean. It was an unseemly luxury to me, as my mother had raised two kids, worked, and managed to keep her house clean, but I decided that the dust needed to be cleared. So as pretentious as it made me feel, I got a house cleaner.

I quickly learned, however, that having someone come into clean my place brought out my quirkiness. I started cleaning on the day before the housekeeper arrived. I wanted to make sure that my home looked presentable before someone came in, even though that person was coming for the sole purpose of cleaning it. It never made sense, and yet it didn’t stop me from washing dishes, picking things up, and organizing piles every night before I was expecting the housekeeper.

I think sometimes, we do the same thing when we go to church. We start washing away our warts, picking up our lives, and organizing our mess. We want to look presentable to the rest of God’s family.  While  it’s admirable to increasingly want our lives to look more like Christ’s, I fear that often our motives are more about what people will think of us, and not whether or not we are reflecting Him.

And I think sometimes the rest of the church promotes this.

We don’t want to see people’s warts – we want to see their illusional beauty.

We don’t want to see people’s hurts – we want to hear only about their triumphs.

We don’t want to reveal our struggles – and so we don’t want others to either.

And while there’s a danger that when we say “Come just as you are,” people could wrongly get the impression that God doesn’t want them to change (which He surely does), it doesn’t mean that we should encourage people to hide the truth of their mess. Iron can only sharpen iron if both pieces know where to strike. In the same way, we’re more effective in encouraging people in their Christian walk, when we know where our words should be directed.

Which means that sometimes, we have to be willing to let our untidyness be seen, so that others can help us clean.

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Gratitude for the Expected

As loyal readers are no doubt aware, I have great parents. Part of what makes my parents great was their relationship with each other. One of the many things that I grew to appreciate about my parents is that whenever we went out to dinner, my mom told my dad “thank you.” It didn’t matter that they had been together since she was 16, had been married more than 30 years, and that sometimes “out to dinner” was a drive through Taco Bell, she still expressed her gratitude to my dad. And it wasn’t just for the sake of platitudes; my mom actually meant it.

This practice of expressing gratitude for something that we’ve come to expect is something I’ve adopted in my relationship with my own husband. I realized this as he drove for hours on a work trip that he had accompanied me on. In my mind, driving is something that a husband does. (I realize others may differ on this, and that’s o.k.) I’m grateful that my husband is willing to do so. The fact that I expect it, doesn’t mean I’m not appreciative for it.

This practice should also be true in my relationship with God. Cultivating a heart of gratitude, means recognizing that while I expect the sun to rise in the morning, it certainly doesn’t have to. The fact that it did, is something that I appreciate. This plays out in a variety of ways – big and small. Whether it’s my loving husband, the home we share, the friends God has placed in my life, or the fact that today I got to go to a job I love, I’ve been given so much. After awhile the bounty of His gifts can become routine. Instead of just accepting them, I need to remind myself of how appreciative I am for them, and express my thankfulness accordingly.

I think we are used to giving thanks for an unexpected blessing, when God grants our “unthinkable” request. However, may we increasingly be just as grateful for the gifts we’ve already been given, for the ones we’ve come to expect.

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