The Done List

A frequent visitor in many homes is the “honey-do list.” This list, usually kept by the wife and given to the husband, is a recount of what projects need to be completed around the house. It is an account of what tasks remain unfinished and is usually distributed on a day off in the hopes of encouraging their final completion.

Honey-do lists serve a useful purpose in that they help identify areas of focus. However, sometimes I think it would be helpful if we also kept a “honey-done list.” If we were as purposeful about remembering what has already been accomplished, the ways that our spouse has already blessed us, as we were about remembering what remains unfinished, it would likely benefit out marriage. Even if the honey-done list is just a mental one, it is important to remind ourselves of the ways that our husband or wife have served us or our family and in doing so demonstrated their love. We can become some focused on what remains, that we forget what has already been accomplished. And in doing so, we may neglect to show the proper appreciation and gratitude to the one God has given us.

Throughout Scripture we are commanded to remember – to think upon the things that God has done in order to have confidence and hope in the future (E.g. Deut. 8:18, Ps. 77:11, Eph. 2:12-13). We would do well to apply this to our marriages too. After all, when we remember all that our spouse has done for us, we may be willing to forgive the honey-to-do list that continues to grow. And we’re more apt to show the kind of appreciation and love to our spouse that God desires His church to show Him (See Eph. 5:22-33).

 

 

 

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Regardless

At a recent conference, one speaker talked about what it means to live for Christ with your family.  In a day amd age where the word “family” is fraught with different interpretations and when families, however they are defined, seem to daily break down in front of us, it is difficult to see how they can be a reflection of Christ. However, as Christians all our lives are to reflect our Savior, and within our families the same principle applies.

One of the ways that we do this is by not imposing our limitations on our commitment to those that God has placed in our lives. No where is this more important that our marriage. Of course, God makes it clear in His Word that our first commitment is to Him, and as such, that will create “limitations” of sorts (For example – if our spouse asks us to do something that violates a clear command of Scripture, God says that we must demonstrate our loyalty to Him and His Word, rather than our loyalty to our loved one.) However, outside of that parameter, we need to have a “regardless” attitude. We respect regardless of agreement. We love regardless of loveliness. Our fidelity to each other should not be dependent upon the other person. Instead, we remain faithful, regardless.

This isn’t an easy attitude to have. Our sinful nature prompts us to put boundaries and walls in order to protect ourselves and to ensure that we get what we desire. God, however, makes it clear that the purpose of a Christian marriage is to reflect Him, and no one had a “regardless” attitude more than our Lord. After all He died for those who were in rebellion against Him (Ro. 5:8). And having the same attitude as Him will require dying to ourselves, but as we do so, our marriage will be a beautiful portrait – not only of human love, but of the love that Christ demonstrates to His Church.

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