The Pain of Humilty

I have a muscle in my right shoulder that regularly spasms. Its the result of years of bad posture and poor muscle development. It’s a constant reminder to me that my mother probably was always right. After all, she was the one who constantly told me to stop slouching even when I didn’t think I was.

Recently I discovered that more than at any other time my muscle spasms in church. I always thought that this was because of the construction of the chairs, but I actually think it may be something different. Whether I’m singing or I’m listening to a sermon, when I’m in church I’m reminded of how lowly I am especially in comparison to an awesome God. My body’s response to this recognition is to slouch forward, a characteristic sign of humble circumstances. I realize my worthlessness contrasted with His worth and I must bow before Him.

What’s noteworthy is how unnatural this is for my body. We’re cautioned to stand up straight because it projects confidence. We’re trained to move with our shoulders back because it puts our body in proper alignment. But when we are properly aligned with our Creator, we realize that we truly are people “of unclean lips” and are forced to our knees. My body revolts against this, as does every world inclination in my spirit, and yet this is what the glory of Christ compels. The spasm in my shoulder is a reminder that humility is never what our bodies, or our worldly nature wants, but it is the proper response to God.

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Humble Grace

No one likes to eat humble pie. Its embedded in our nature to want to stick up for our rights, our prerogatives, and our relationships. We struggle to admit our frailties and even more rarely disclose our mistakes. We want people to believe that we have everything together even though no one really does. Humility comes at quite a cost in a culture that thrives on competition and success.

Recently though, I’ve learned, that humility is the only way that we can draw closer to God. Being a Christian for as long as I have, I’m tempted to forget the magnitude of my unworthiness that struck me the day that I accepted God’s grace as covering for my sins. As time passes, I’m inclined to think that I have it all together and that God and I are going along just fine. And then something happens where someone does me a wrong, or someone questions my integrity and I want to again proclaim my worthiness as a human being. I forget my complete lack of worth except as a child of God. As God’s child is not up to me to defend my honor or to strike a chord to seek my own justice. In a monarchy the king’s heirs aren’t called upon to defend themselves, the king’s mere presence renders that unnecessary. In the same way, my King has my back and my calling is to continuously seek Him. When I do that, He promises to be my defender and my strength. Humility is what prompts us to say “more of You Lord, less of me” and its only when we truly recognize our smallness and God’s significance that the prayer becomes our lifeline rather than a ritual uttering of an unrepentant heart.

Humility may be difficult to swallow but its the only pure nourishment for a soul that seeks Christ.

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