Gratitude for the Expected

As loyal readers are no doubt aware, I have great parents. Part of what makes my parents great was their relationship with each other. One of the many things that I grew to appreciate about my parents is that whenever we went out to dinner, my mom told my dad “thank you.” It didn’t matter that they had been together since she was 16, had been married more than 30 years, and that sometimes “out to dinner” was a drive through Taco Bell, she still expressed her gratitude to my dad. And it wasn’t just for the sake of platitudes; my mom actually meant it.

This practice of expressing gratitude for something that we’ve come to expect is something I’ve adopted in my relationship with my own husband. I realized this as he drove for hours on a work trip that he had accompanied me on. In my mind, driving is something that a husband does. (I realize others may differ on this, and that’s o.k.) I’m grateful that my husband is willing to do so. The fact that I expect it, doesn’t mean I’m not appreciative for it.

This practice should also be true in my relationship with God. Cultivating a heart of gratitude, means recognizing that while I expect the sun to rise in the morning, it certainly doesn’t have to. The fact that it did, is something that I appreciate. This plays out in a variety of ways – big and small. Whether it’s my loving husband, the home we share, the friends God has placed in my life, or the fact that today I got to go to a job I love, I’ve been given so much. After awhile the bounty of His gifts can become routine. Instead of just accepting them, I need to remind myself of how appreciative I am for them, and express my thankfulness accordingly.

I think we are used to giving thanks for an unexpected blessing, when God grants our “unthinkable” request. However, may we increasingly be just as grateful for the gifts we’ve already been given, for the ones we’ve come to expect.

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Fighting Family

I’ve never been a big fan of conflict. When I was younger, my dad used to get a kick of how I would try to smooth things over and be the peacemaker. As an adult, he cautioned me not to take it too much to heart. It’s not that I can’t hold my own when conflict erupts; it’s just that it takes me a while to recover once it happens.

Maybe that’s why I was so disappointed when I witnessed what I thought was going to be a battle of words between two Christian authors. It started when one of the individuals publicly criticized the other. Immediately people began to jumped to the defense. As I awaited the response of the one who was criticized*, I couldn’t help but thinking how antithetical this was to the Matthew 18:15 command. Instead of one individual privately talking to the other about their concerns, people from both sides started having a public exchange of opinions. Others were brought in to the fray with their views on what happened. What could have possibly been handled as an instructive and growing time for both individuals, became a public spectacle that was a poor representation of Christ.

What happened on this large scale, happens all the time in smaller arenas.

Someone offends us.

We get angry.

Then instead of going to that individual, we have our justifications and our excuses for why we think it’s o.k. to talk to someone else. We deliberately ignore what God says and in so doing forget that our love for each other is a reflection of our love for Him (See John 13:35). We tell people that we want to invite them into the family of God, but if this is how we treat one another, is it really a family they’d want to join?

Being set apart for Christ should mean that we act differently from those who are not. May our relationships with one another be one place where we demonstrate this.

*(I’m thrilled to say that in this case, the one who was criticized responded with grace. Hopefully if we’re on the wrong end of public criticism, we’ll do the same.)

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