A Year-End Report

In business, it’s custom to write an annual report – the purpose of which is to let your shareholders know what happened the year before and what the plans are for the future. Although, my work experience was primarily in privately-owned businesses (and therefore an annual report wasn’t necessary) the year end was still an important time for us. It was a time that we would rush to complete orders to help make the year as profitable as possible.

Since I no longer work in a corporate setting, I took a different approach to the end of this year. Although it’s not something that normally characterizes me, I finished this year with a burst of inactivity. As you may have noticed, I didn’t post new blogs, and I also didn’t fill my calendar with things to do and places to be. Instead, I spent some time reflecting on this last year year and my hopes for the future.

If you’re a frequent reader of this blog, you probably know that this past year wasn’t an easy one. This was for a variety of reasons, including the massive stroke that my father-in-law experienced, the passing of my own dad, and other grief, plus the “normal” travails of life.  It was a year that I don’t long to repeat. As my sister so eloquently tweeted, “If 2010 had a face, I’d punch it” – it’s a sentiment I can definitely appreciate.

Yet despite the hardships of 2010, it was a good year. It was good because I learned lessons that maybe can’t be learned through anything but hard times. And while I don’t relish the hard times, I do appreciate the lessons. So, to start off 2011, I wanted to share these lessons with you:

1) God is near the brokenhearted. – The truth of Pslam 34:18 was shared with me by a dear friend after my dad went to be with Jesus. It was a truth that I clung to in the days and months that were to follow. And it was a truth that I saw manifest in my own life. I experienced God’s presence and His provision in ways that I hadn’t appreciated before. I saw His hand at work – whether through the comforting word of a friend, the remarkable way in which my mom’s needs were taken care of while she was still in Hawaii after my dad passed, or simply in the confidence He gave me of my father’s new Home. He was near to us. And while we don’t understand the reasons why this year was so tough, we are incredibly grateful that He walked through it with us.

2) A community of committed believers is a precious gift – Through the daily and the momentous trials that we experienced over this past year, we had believers who walked the road with us.  Some of these were dear friends, others of them were people we barely knew. Whether it was the thousands of prayers that were lifted up on our behalf, the phone calls and text messages of those who checked in, or the people who would come to our home to share in our grief with us, we experienced what it meant to be part of the body of Christ in new ways. And we are so grateful that in the midst of the pain, God provided people that were willing to help shoulder the burden.

3) Never underestimate the blessing of a meals ministry – This may seem like a trite response, but really, this was a huge lesson for me. I had participated in the meals ministry of the church we attend, but had never been a recipient. I realized what a practical and appreciated gift the provision of a meal is for those who are in need. It meant that there was one less thing we had to be concerned with; it meant we had more time to deal with the myriad of details that came with each trial we endured. To all of those who have ever provided a meal for someone in need – thank you. And let me just assure you – it makes a tremendous difference.

4) Prayer is powerful – This may be one which seems obvious to committed Christians, and although I already knew the impact of prayer, we experienced anew during this last year. And this wasn’t because we were given everything we asked for – in fact, most of the time, we weren’t. But it the midst of our heartbreak, we received the blessing of knowing that we were being prayed for, and that what was happening in our lives was the result of God’s design. I’m convinced that the reason our family was able to continue to praise God in spite of our grief and hurt, was because of the prayers of other people. If you are a follower of Christ, please keep praying. Not just for our family, but for those who you know that are hurting or in need. You may never know how God is using those prayers, but trust me, He is.

5) God is good. All the time. – This year has been a hard one, but God’s goodness has been seen through it. This year has been challenging, but God’s faithfulness has endured. His character does not change because of our circumstances. And in the midst of despair, He is there – actively working to bring about His purposes for the good of His precious children.

I don’t wish to repeat 2010, but I’m grateful for it. And I’m grateful for the lessons that God continues to teach me, until the day of His return.

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Twice Grieved

As many people know, earlier this year my daddy unexpectedly passed away. What few people know is that a few months later, my husband and I lost our first child to a miscarriage. Perhaps it’s unusual to experience these types of painful losses so close to one another. Perhaps it’s more common than we are aware. Regardless, it has been a tough road; one that I would have never planned, but that I’m walking just the same.

As I’ve mourned these losses and tried to figure out where to go from here, I’ve been reminded of a few things:

God is in control.

I am not.

God is on the throne.

I am not.

God knows the way.

I do not.

And while I’ve learned and re-learned the truth of these words, God, in His providence, has made this time of sorrow into also a time of comfort, a time of hope and a time of grace. Comfort, because I know that while I might not understand, I know the God Who does. I’ve often reminded myself that no one knows this pain like God does. Christ was a Son separated from His dad, and the Father knows the pain of a Son’s death. He’s walked this road, on both sides, and is walking it again with me.

It’s been a time of hope because while I don’t understand the reasons for these losses, I know that God has promised to use them. He will use the tears to water the seed of His will. He will use the grief to bring about grace. While I choose to believe that it grieves God when His children suffer, I also believe that He redeems these times by working through them to bring about His will. I wish I didn’t have to experience the sorrow, but I’m grateful that God uses even the painful things to bring about His good.

And it’s been a time of grace because in the last few months God has been demonstrably present. He’s put people into our lives who need to hear His Word, and through these experiences, we have been given the opportunity to share it. He’s provided in both seen and unseen ways to meet the needs that we didn’t even know we had.  He’s arranged timelines and schedules to make our burden lighter. And He’s given us comfort and hope that can only come from Him.

In my humanity, I wish for my dad to still be here, and for my baby to have safely arrived on this Earth. I do not presume to know why they aren’t, but I know that these losses did not catch God unaware. A song [affiliate linkby Kerrie Roberts often serves a reminder to me that “Before a heartache can ever touch my life, it has to go through Your hands.” He could have stopped these things, but in His sovereignty He didn’t. But in His graciousness, He’s using them to still accomplish something good. And while I grieve, there are no better hands to wipe away the tears.

(While it was heartbreaking to experience both of these losses so close together, it is even harder to lose someone and not have confidence of their salvation in Christ. This is what it truly means to be “twice grieved.” Please, if you don’t know Christ, don’t spend another day without Him. If you don’t know what it means to be a Christian, I’m happy to answer any questions. This is also a great place to learn more. May God bless you as you seek and serve Him. ~ N.A. Winter)

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