Relationships

Why I Respect My Husband

I am a very blessed girl. This is true in many respects, but apart from my salvation, there is no greater gift in my life than my sweet husband. For those who know him, this shouldn’t come as a surprise, because truly, he is one of a kind. Ever since he bought me 28 presents for my 28th birthday (one for every year he had missed), I knew that my life with him would be quite a ride. And it has been. On a regular basis he astounds me, impresses me, makes me laugh, or seemingly finds a new way to love me. He is amazing.

And while all of this is true, none of these are the reasons that I respect him. Don’t get me wrong, they certainly help incline my heart in that way, but truth be told, even when he’s not the embodiment of all these wonderful things, I strive to honor and esteem him. The reason for this is simple – the Bible tells me I should. There are some things in the Bible that may be open to interpretation but as far as I can tell, this isn’t one of them. Ephesians 5 clearly states that part of my job as a godly wife is to show my husband the same type of respect that the Church should rightly give Christ.  I’m far from perfect at it (just as, I suppose, the Church is), but it is my goal nonetheless.

Now let me say, this isn’t always an easy thing. For one, I’m a very independent person. Secondly, I have a stubborn streak. But the thing that keeps me motivated is this – at some point along the way, I realized that when my husband and I stand before Christ, because of the leadership that God has placed on him, my husband is going to be the one who has to give an account for how our marriage and how our family followed Christ.  This is not something I’m envious of, because as any leader can tell you, leadership is a difficult task. As one of our pastors often tells husbands at their marriage ceremony, “Love, in this relationship is your responsibility.” And while this sounds well and good on your wedding day, you quickly realize that consistently and steadily maintaining a lovely relationship is no easy thing. The least I can do, I figure, is be supportive of my husband along the way so that when he does give an account, he will be able to give one that pleases our Savior and King. I’m grateful not to have that accountability, so I definitely shouldn’t try to usurp the responsibility. And if he’s going to be responsible, than I want to make sure I’m doing my best to be supportive because when I stand to give an account, Christ is going to want to know whether I helped or hindered along the way. This is difficult enough it itself, because as any follower can tell you, consistently and steadily maintaining a respectful attitude is no easy thing. I hope that account is also one that is pleasing to our Savior and King.

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Growth Relationships

Eat, Tweet, and Be Merry

One of the things that I think everyone has learned at one time or another is that the immediacy of the digital age has both benefits and consequences. For example, a benefit of social media is that you can quickly share good news. People you haven’t seen in years can instantly know if you are engaged, married or expecting a baby. However, just as instantly, those very same people can view an unflattering picture of you that can take years to eradicate from their memory. Not only is distribution immediate and indiscriminate, but social media has the unnatural ability to cause people to lose their discretion. Things that we would never share in real life, are posted on Facebook for all to see. Things that we would never say to a person, we tweet. The perception of anonymity masks the truth of notoriety, and wisdom is cast into the sea.

As Christians, we should be doubly cautious about this, because we should want all our words, whether spoken or written, to reflect Christ. Not only does this mean we should use discretion with what we say about others, but it also means that we should be careful about what we write about ourselves. For example, it’s not uncommon for people to give full vent to their complaints on Twitter or Facebook. However, Scripture tells us that we should do “all things without grumbling” (See Phil. 2:14-16).  Later, Paul shares that we should focus on “whatever is pure, whatever is lovely” (See Phil. 4:8) and yet, in the social media world we often instead focus on “whatever is crass, whatever is disturbing.” We are told throughout Scripture to be people of joy (for example, see Romans 12:12) and yet, sometimes, if one were to read our Facebook feed, there would be seemingly little cause for elation. Look, I know life is tough, but as Christians, this should not come as a surprise. What should catch people off guard, however, is that in the midst of these tough times, our confidence is found in Christ.

I was once taught in the corporate world that I should never put anything in an e-mail that I wouldn’t want projected behind me if I ever had to be on the witness stand. As Christians, let us strive to never tweet or write a post that we wouldn’t want have read back to us when we stand in the throne room of Christ.

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