Hurts Him More

“This hurts me more than it hurts you.”

How many of us have cringed at these words?

When you’re a child it’s hard to believe that the pain your parent is experiencing in meting out the discipline is worse than the pain you are experiencing in receiving it.

As you grow, however, you begin to realize the possible veracity behind these words.  While it is not fun to receive correction, it also can be difficult to give it. And the person giving it has the perspective of knowing what could have been if the discipline had not been necessary. In other words, the child’s limited view only sees the temporal pain of correction; the parent who disciplines the child correctly also is plagued by the realization of what the child could have experienced had the correction not been necessary.

I think Christ may have viewed the Cross similarly. When Christ gave His life, He received the punishment that we all had rightly earned. When we think upon that sacrifice, we are often moved by the depth of His love that He would be willing to bear such pain on our behalf. Yet I can’t help but think that regardless of our grief over Christ having to bear our sins,  the price He paid is greater than we can realize this side of Heaven for we can’t know the beauty and majesty of what He gave up. We can imagine it, but we don’t know what it’s like to be in a place where there is no sin, and where God’s glory is the central focus. We aren’t accustomed to the riches of heaven and so we can properly value and appreciate it. We tend to think only of the physical pain that He experienced and to which we can relate. But His sacrifice wasn’t just the fact that He took on all our punishment, which is amazing enough, but that He gave up so much in order to do it.

The pain of our sin had to hurt Him a lot more than it ever hurts us. Yet He bore it because He loves us.

And perhaps, in letting the truth of that sink in, we’d be less inclined to give in to sin and more inclined to live completely for Him.

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Compound Fracture

In writing about relationships, it’s easy and much more pleasant to write about the warm and fuzzy aspects (which I do a lot.)  But be in any type of relationship long enough and there’s bound to be some conflict (On a side note – it’s so funny to me when people say “I hate conflict.” Are there really people out there who enjoy it?) Things get said, people can hurt, and before you know it, there’s a fractured relationship.

While the painful impact of conflict is no fun to deal with, the real challenge comes in how you respond when you are at the receiving end. Are you willing for the relationship to be restored? Do you actively work to make that happen? Or are you holding tight to the injustice that was wrongly committed against you?

For the Christian, the Bible is clear about how we should respond. When Peter asked Jesus how often he should forgive, He aptly responded “70 times 7” – conveying that forgiveness was expected as many times as it was needed. As followers of our Lord, we are called to emulate Him, not only in how we live, but in how we respond to those who have grieved us (Col. 3:13). Forgiveness is commanded because it restores love, and the watching world will measure our commitment to Christ based on how we love each other.

Additionally, it is important for the Christian to forgive because of what unforgiveness does to the person holding the grudge.  When I choose not to forgive, I am taking the sin of someone who has wronged me and making it my own. Yes, they may have been unjust in how they treat me, but now I’m in error in choosing to withhold forgiveness. I have increased the sin in the equation by adding my sin to their own.

And Christians should be all about wanting to reduce sin. We want our lives to look increasingly more like Christ’s which means we have to increasingly reduce the divergence between how we’re living and His commands. Unfortunately, instead of displaying the kind of love that Christ did when He sacrificed His very life for those that were His enemies (Rom. 5:8), when someone wrongs us, we often create wider wedges, deepening the fault lines in a relationship. Instead of just a regular break, we make it a compound fracture – slower to heal, and with longer lasting effects.

May we be quick to heal breaks, so that the Body of Christ can fully function with every part working together for His glory.

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