Hearing & Helping

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©iStockphoto.com/zwolafsola

I have the privilege of being an aunt to two adorable nieces. Because we don’t live in very close proximity to each other a lot of our conversations happen over the phone. It’s great fun and I savor the times that I get to talk to them (I relish it even more whey they are the ones who ask to talk to me rather than being dutiful nieces and chatting with their aunt.) However, because their young a good portion of our conversations follow this pattern: my nieces say something in their adorable but not completely intelligible voices. I say “what did you say?” They repeat themselves. I still don’t understand them. Eventually, either their mom steps in or I give up and change the conversation. There are only so many times you can carry on a conversation without the other one understanding what you are saying.

Unfortunately, I think many people view prayer in a similar way as my phone conversations with my nieces. They ask their questions and make their petitions of God, but He seems to only speak back in ways that they can’t understand. He doesn’t really seem to be hearing them as their lives do not conform to the requests that they have made. So they switch the conversation, or give up talking to Him altogether wondering what good it is doing anyway.

Scripture, however, makes it clear that God does hear His people. Not only does He listen to their requests, their heart cries and their pleas, but He is providing help through whatever storm they are currently facing. As David wrote in Psalm 28:6-9:

Blessed be the Lord! For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.  The Lord is the strength of his people; he is the saving refuge of his anointed. Oh, save your people and bless your heritage! Be their shepherd and carry them forever.

It may be tempting to think “Of course David could write confidently; God provided the help he needed.” But if you refer back to the opening verses of that same Psalm, it is obvious that David’s rescue had not yet arrived (See Ps. 28:1-5). However, David knew that God heard his prayers and that help would come. So much so that he wrote about it as if he had already been delivered.

God’s servants today can share this same confidence with David. We can know that God hears our petitions and that He is busy working to bring about our good and His glory (Rom. 8:28). Like David, help may not arrive in the manner or the timeframe that we expect, but that is not a sign that our pleas have fallen on deaf ears. Instead, we can trust that God is working a greater plan and that according to the counsel of His will (See Eph. 1:11), He will provide exactly what He knows that we need at exactly the proper time.

 

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Trust, respect, and a lesson from a dog

Trust, Colorful words hang on rope by wooden peg
©iStockphoto.com/AnsonLu

About a month or so after my husband and I got married, we decided we needed to get another dog. It was something we had talked about for a while leading up to the wedding, since the dog I had could use a friend. Somehow it made sense in our minds to wait until after the wedding to launch in to the crazy world of introducing another dog into the house, and we figured a few weeks was enough time to take on this new adventure. The challenge was that on that particular Saturday, I had a bridal party to attend. So my husband decided he would go to the shelter by himself “just to look.” Of course, it wasn’t long before I started getting text messages with pictures of dogs that were in need of new homes. “Just to look” quickly became “adopting today.”

Before my husband left on his quest, we agreed on a few things:

1) We wanted a female dog (the dog I had was male.)

2) She needed to be young and comparable in age to the puppy I already had.

3) She needed to be smaller than my existing dog (so as to minimize the competitive dynamic that would be created.)

We realized that these greatly limited our search, but were comfortable that these parameters would help create a successful transition in our home.

Imagine my surprise then when the initial text images I received were of an older, bigger, male dog!

A phone conversation quickly followed.

And as I listened to my husband explain why he was considering this dog that fell completely outside our given parameters, I found myself saying to him “If this is the dog that you think should be part of our home, I trust you to make that decision.”

It was a small, but significant moment in our marriage.

Although I had realized intellectually that I needed to trust my husband to make decisions that would effect my life for years to come, this was where the rubber met the proverbial road. I couldn’t see the dog, I could’t verify my husband’s instincts or provide another alternative to consider, I simply had to choose whether or not to trust him and the wisdom God had given him. And I realized trusting him often has as much to say about my character as it did about his. After all, I wouldn’t have married him if I didn’t think that he was a man worthy of my trust. But now I had to choose whether I was going to depend on my old self-reliance, or actually live according to the vows I had made to honor and respect him by relying on his wisdom. Choosing the latter was challenging (because of who I am, not because he was unworthy of such dependence), but in doing so, it strengthened our marriage.

And as we have faced new decisions and new moments of uncertainty in the years since, I’ve realized time and time again that it is difficult to say that I am following the Ephesians 5 command to respect my husband if I am unwilling to trust him. We may think that we can separate these two things, but in reality I don’t see how. And just like I can choose to show my husband (or anyone else) respect, I can make the decision to trust him. Even when, maybe especially when, the bigger picture seems to be clearer to him than it is to me.

In a somewhat comical turn of events, we didn’t end up getting the dog (although that decision had little to do with my surprise over the selection and everything to do with some issues related to that particular pup.) The dog we did get was male, only slightly bigger, and young. God, however, used the instance to teach me something about what it meant to practically live out my vows to love, honor and respect the man that I had married, and how saying you’ll trust, and actually trusting can be two very different things.

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