Being Content Hope

Redeeming Restlessness

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©iStockphoto.com/moose-man

One of the gifts that God has given me is an uncanny ability to fall asleep practically anywhere. It’s not exactly a talent per se, but it is something that has come in handy. I’ve fallen asleep at rock concerts, in airports, and sitting straight up in a chair. It’s a very useful proclivity when it comes time to travel or in any situation where the point of exhaustion might not be met by the convenience of comfort. It’s something I’ve been grateful for time and time again.

Lately, however, even in the comfort of my own home my normal patterns of rest have been frequently interrupted. There are good reasons for this, but they still result in a lack of sleep. As I’ve tossed and turned though, God has placed on my heart a desire to redeem these moments of restlessness. If I am going to be awake, I might as well be doing things that draw me closer to Him. So periods of my night are often filled with listening to sermons or worship music, hearing someone read Scripture to me, or praying for those whom I know that have lost loved ones recently. Rest may allude me, but that doesn’t mean worship needs to as well.

There are periods of life that are often like these fitful nights of sleep. We may feel unsettled and uncertain of the work that God is doing. Our points of exhaustion may never seem to find the comfort that we so desperately seek. Refreshment and renewal can seem elusive. We spend our time pondering what God is doing and wondering where He is leading next.

And just like my own restless nights, He can redeem this restlessness as well.

As written previously, when David faced one of these seasons, when he wondered how long he would lack peace from those who pursued them, he did two things – he looked to the past and saw God’s faithfulness, and looked to the future with a commitment to praise Him (See Ps. 13:5-6). As we follow this pattern, we will be reminder of how God has used the uncertainty that we have faced before to increase our reliance on Him. We will see that He has faithfully used the times where we lacked clarity to work in ways that we could not have anticipated. HIs provision was not dependent upon our understanding – instead, even as we struggled to make sense of what was happening, He was busy bringing us to the place He desired us to be.

This should inspire praise. Not only for the work that He has done in the past, but for the confidence that we can have in the future. Like the Psalmist, we can say that we will “look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living” (Ps. 27:13). We might not know how God will work, but we can know that He is. Life may seem uncertain, but we can have confidence in the One who never is (Ja. 1:17).

Ecclesiastes reminds us that to “everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven” (Ecc. 3:1). God is not wasting this time of our uncertainty, and neither should we. We know that while rest may evade us now, God will lead us “besides still water” and He will “restore [our] soul[s]” (Ps. 23:2).  And we will find the peace that we seek, as we rest in Him.

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Relationships

Change, Helping and a Lack of Trust

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©iStockphoto.com/artist unknown

At the start of a relationship, people often focus on all the good characteristics of the other person. Listening to someone describe their new-found love interest, one could get the impression that the object of their affection can do no wrong. It is easy to list all the compelling reasons for their interest – and to neglect to consider all the potential shortfalls in the other’s character. We are all prone to the allure of the “rose-colored glasses” and seeing in another person what we want to see.

Of course, given time in a relationship, this is apt to change. Many are all-too-quickly able to list their spouse’s shortfalls, and may do so on a regular basis. Many, particularly women, see this as an opportunity to “fix” the other person. “I can change him” is a mantra too often adopted, and rarely succeeds.

The challenge is that we may start off on this quest with good intentions. It may be our desire to “help” the other person by addressing perceived gaps in their character or the way they do things. What we fail to recognize is that almost always if we are “helping’ someone, they see and appreciate the benefit of what we are doing. Too often this is not the case as what was once “loving reminders” become a fixation on changing who the other person is. It is not considered “helping” if what we are really doing is trying to conform the other person to our desires and preferences. There are other, less flattering words that better describe this proclivity.

What we fail to realize is that our intentions of “fixing” the other person ultimately reveal a lack of trust. The reason that we want them to conform to what we think is best is because we trust in our process, abilities, or character more than we do theirs. Of course, if the issue is one of obedience to God’s Word, it should be our desire that they would conform to this standard – but it should be because we want what is best for them – not because we are able to use Scripture to support the position that we have already established. Just because our spouse handles something differently, does not necessarily mean that their way of doing so is wrong. God’s Word and not our preferences should be the barometer that we use to evaluate actions.

Additionally, when we think it is our job to “change” someone else, we demonstrate a lack of trust in the work that God is doing in that person’s live. This is likely an easier issue to tackle in a relationship where both parties are Christians. If this is the case, we should be able to trust that as the person seeks God, He will convict and direct them in the manner that pleases Him (which may not necessarily be the same thing that pleases us) (Phil 2:13). However, even if only one person is a believer, they should trust that God is doing to use them do His work in their loved one’s live; their job is to live in a manner that is pleasing and obedient to Him – it is up to Him to use that obedience to accomplish His purposes for the other person (See I Peter 3:1).

In short, our desire for our loved ones should be God’s best in their life. To define what this is, we should use His Word, not our preferences. And we should not be so foolish to think that we will be able to bring this about by sheer effort or determination. Instead, we must trust that as we obey Him, He will use us to accomplish what He desires, and that our relationships will be strengthened as a result.

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