nawinter.com

For previous posts in this series on hospitality, please click here and here. 

It is a common for me to hear that people want to be more hospitable. When people desire to be more open to hosting people in their home, but then fail to follow through, one of the most common reasons is that they aren’t sure they can “pull it off.” Usually, this means that they have invented unlikely scenarios in their head, and they haven’t quite figured out how they will deal with them if they should occur. Generally speaking, I find that this is code for – “but what will people do when they are at my house?” In other words, there seems to be some concern that even if the meal is prepped, and the house is cleaned, that upon arrival, people will be at a lost for how to make sure that the time together is a success. Here are a few things that I have found helpful to maximize the moments when we open the doors of our home:

Invest in Fun Games

Maybe it is the type of people I hang out with, but I have never met someone who doesn’t enjoy a good board game. In our house, we have a variety of games for various skills and age levels. They have proven to be an easy way to continue the fellowship that comes after the meal, and as I previously wrote about, playing a board game with someone can give you insight into their personality and character that you otherwise might not have. Try to choose games that won’t take hours to play (i.e. avoid Monopoly, Risk, or Axis and Allies), and try to find games that, if they are interested, kids can join in and play too. If games are relatively simple to explain, but still contain an element of strategy or purposefulness, even better. Board games are a minimal investment, but they can pay big dividends in making your hospitality efforts effective.

If you have an outside space, you may consider investing in some outdoor activities too. This past summer we bought a bunch of easy-to-fill water balloons and had great fun having impromptu water balloon fights when we would invite people over to visit. A few soccer balls or a basketball hoop can go a long way to entertaining people as well. I don’t know what specifically will work for you, but if you are intentional about using some of the resources that God has given you to buy activities that guests can enjoy, I can almost guarantee it will make the time you spend hosting, and the time your guests spend visiting, more memorable.

Let Others Participate

Often when we invite people over to our home, we think that we have to pull all the details together ourselves. When people ask if there is something that they can bring, we quickly say “nothing” – either because we want to have sole command of the gathering or because we haven’t figured out yet what the plan is. Fight this tendency. People like to contribute and by letting them, you are actually creating a more welcoming environment for them because in letting them help, you are treating them like family. If you don’t have a meal planned yet, let them bring something that goes with almost anything. Even if I don’t know what I’m serving, I can tell people who ask that they can bring a salad or a dessert. If kids are coming, you can give your guests the option of bringing juice boxes for them to enjoy. These are relatively easy items for others to bring if they are the type who will make a quick trip to the store. If they are an elaborate chef who enjoys presentation – they can pursue those endeavors with both the salad and the dessert. However they approach it, your willingness to let them contribute will make them feel more at ease, and will go a long way to building genuine relationships.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

If you are going to commit to be more hospitable, there are probably a lot of “ideals” that you are going to have to relinquish. For example – we often use paper goods in our house when we are hosting other people. This certainly isn’t the fanciest, but I have yet to hear a complaint, and I know that using paper goods makes clean-up afterwards easier, thus increasing the likelihood that I will be ready and willing to host again soon. I have also never had someone inspect my carpets or my counters to make sure that they are clean enough to eat off of. This isn’t to say that I throw all preparation out the window (if you happen to come over, do not fear – we will clean!) – but I try to major on what is most important, and not worry about the things that are inconsequential. A stressed host doesn’t make for a good host. And the more I enjoy the time spent with friends in my home, the most likely that they will too.

It’s Not Your Home

Lastly, one of the most important tips I can give you is to remember that the house in which you host people is not your home. First and foremost, if you are a child of God, then Heaven is your home. All your time and effort here should be focused on making a difference that will last in Eternity. Therefore, the inconveniences and challenges that come with hosting should pale in comparison to the fact that God may use the open doors of your house to open the doors of people’s hearts to a deeper, more sanctified relationship with Him. What matters therefore is not how much you plan the menu or the activities, but how intentional you are about using the time inside the walls where you reside to point people to Him.

There is another way that our house is not our home; the place where we live, like all good gifts, comes from God (James 1:17). It is rightly His – we are just stewarding it for however long He desires. Therefore, our mindset shouldn’t be whether we “feel” like having people over, but whether God has called to do so. If He has, than as obedient children, we should. Not because of the benefits accrued to us (although there are many), but because we long to please our Heavenly Father and to use whatever He has granted us to bring Him glory and praise.