In recent years, one of the fast-growing sectors of consumer products has been in the area of personalization. In what would have seem unfathomable even a decade ago, we can customize and individualize things like never before. Not only can we get our initials monogrammed onto bath towels, but we can get brand-name jeans made exclusively for us, and shoes that were designed to our specifications. If you can think of it, you can probably get someone to create it – exactly as you desire.
This ability to individualize and personalize can be great for businesses but can cause unrealistic expectations for people. The era of hyper-specialization can cause us to think that everything should be designed based on our desires. We want what we want and our aghast when we don’t get it. We have little patience for experiences that are not customized based on our preferences, priorities and proclivities. Not only do we live a “microwave society of wanting things cheap and fast,” we live in a culture of curated content – chosen specifically for us.
These increased expectations can even impact how we consider trials in our lives. Difficulties come and we think “I don’t deserve this” or “this wasn’t supposed to happen,” as if somehow the challenges that we encounter should be based on what we have done or who we are. We tend to think that difficulties operate on a kind of quid pro quo basis – we get what we deserve. However, the Christian knows that we actually get far less than we deserve in this life. Our sin against God earns us the penalty of immediate and permanent death (Ro. 6:23), separation from Him for all eternity. Our trials shouldn’t seem to be more difficult than we think they should be; they are far less of a burden than what our guilt has incurred.
Yet, even mental assent to these truths can not be enough to fortify us against our discontent with the valleys of life. One of the simplest yet most helpful statements I have ever heard about suffering came from a friend whose mother had died unexpectedly. When discussing the seemingly endless amount of unhelpful statements and inadequate comparisons that people would make when trying to comfort her as she grieved, she expressed her understanding of what seemed to be their lack of awareness by saying “Pain is personal.” What she meant by this is that as much as we might sympathize with another person, we can’t fully experience their pain they are going through. Comparing the loss of a parent to the loss of a pet may seem reasonable until you lose your own beloved mother. Pain is personal because as much as you try, you can’t fully walk in another person’s shoes. But pain is personal for another reason too; because the pain you experience, the suffering you go through, has come into your life under the sovereignty of your Heavenly Father whose love for you is greater than you can even imagine (Psalm 103:11-14). He chooses the cross that you bear. And when you walk the road of your personal Golgotha with the attitude of His Son – you honor Him. “Not my will but Your will be done” are the words our beloved Savior offered as He prepared to carry the cross that our Father had decreed for Him. May we do the same with the hills, and even the mountains, He places in front of us.
In a day and age where we can choose much about how we experience the world, it is unlikely that we will also get to pick the trials and tribulations we encounter. However, let us take confidence in the fact that the One who is sovereign over what transverses our paths, has designed and equipped us to encounter those difficulties in such a way that we honor Him. We may not get to design our own crosses, but we can honor our Designer by the manner in which we carry them.
