Relationships

A Model Spouse

Years ago there were TV ads by Nike that featured Michael Jordan and encouraged viewers to try to be like the NBA legend, starting with wearing the same shoes as he did. It was a popular commercial at the height of his celebrity, and it had a strong appeal. After all, people recognized that if you want to be like someone the first thing to do is the same things they are doing.

The same lesson is often applied in reverse. As a leader, one of the first things you learn is to do what you say and to say what you do. You quickly understand that your followers will emulate how you act, not simply acquiesce to what you command. Therefore, if you want a certain behavior to take hold, then you need to start doing it. Your followers will soon conform, and in the process become more like you.

While this is a significant thing to consider when it comes to organizational leadership, perhaps it is even more worthy of consideration when it comes to our marriages. One of the things I most appreciate about my husband is that he is the type of person that I desire to resemble more. As he leads our small family, as he serves in the church, as he works unto the Lord, he displays characteristics that I wish were more true of me. And this is a good thing. Because just as “bad company corrupts good character” (I Cor. 15:33), good company has the reverse effect (Prov. 13:20). And there’s no one that I’m in the company of more than my spouse.

This, however, brings up two additional considerations. The first is this –  if you aren’t yet married, as you consider perspective mates, are you thinking about whether or not they are the type of person that you would like to become? Without fail, we begin to emulate the behaviors and tendencies of those we associate most with. Is your perspective spouse someone that you would aspire to be like? If not, than in all likelihood, they are not a spouse that God desires for you. After all, God desires for us to become more holy, more like Him. If the person we want to marry would detract from this purpose, than they are likely not God’s best for our lives.

The second thing to consider is, for those who are married – am I acting in such a way that I would want my spouse to emulate? Regardless of how final decisions are reached in the home, there are probably at least some areas in each of our relationships where one of us has more experience, more natural proclivities, more history, or more knowledge – whether it’s decorating the home or deciding which car to purchase. As we engage in these things, are we acting in such a way that as our spouse “learns” from us, we hope that they will act the same? In other words, are we being the type of person that a godly spouse could rightly desire to become more like?

Because, for better or worse,  they will.

 

Now it’s your turn….who do you know that’s done a good job of being a “model” spouse? How did that effect their marriage?

 

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Hope

Hidden

Growing up, a favorite game of our family was hide-and-seek. There’s a good chance that my dad actually liked the game better than any of the kids because he took great joy in finding new and innovative places to help the hide-ers evade capture. He would lift kids up on top of the refrigerator, and place the cookie jar into their hands, so that they would just seem like part of the decor. He would take off the top of the papasan chair, place a child into the solid base that was underneath, and then place the chair back on top (always making sure the young one could breathe.) I even think once or twice he put us inside the clothes dryer, although I’m sure many people may be aghast at that suggestion.  His creativity seemed to  know no bounds as he looked for places that we could hide.

As illustrated from the above examples, some of my dad’s most effective strategies for hiding us involved placing us into something else. In order to keep the seek-ers from finding the hide-ers, it was helpful if what they saw was the object rather than our faces. They would look right past us, because they presumed that we couldn’t be there. After all – that was a chair, or a dryer – it wasn’t a hiding kid.

This happens to also be a great illustration of what happens when we become believers. As my pastor often reminds us, the word for baptism, literally means “placed into.”  When we have been “baptized into Christ” – we were placed into Him.  He’s covering us; He’s hiding us. Therefore when people see us, they shouldn’t see the cowering child that’s afraid of the future, they should see Christ. They shouldn’t be looking at our insecurities, our fears, and our hang-ups, they should be seeing the beauty and the majesty of our risen Lord.  We are hidden in Him – so that people look right past “us” – because all they see is Christ. This of course isn’t to imply that we have to feign perfection. After all, that’s an act that we can only keep up for so long. Instead, we need to remember that because we are in Him, we have already been granted all we need to live a godly life (2 Peter 1:3), and we need to get busy letting Him use us to make Himself look good.

In the same vein, it’s important for us to remember that when we are hidden in Christ, we are protected. The old hymn, Rock of Ages starts with these seemingly strange words, “Rock of Ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee.”  It’s a reminder that not only should other people see Christ when they look at us, but we can take confidence that when we are hidden in Him, we are protected. It is as if we are surrounded by the greatest and strongest mountain; no weapon can penetrate it, no foes can surmount it. Nothing can happen to us apart from His plan.

He protects us.

He cover us.

He is our shield.

And just as we want people to look at us and see Christ, we can have confidence in this – because we are hidden in Him, when God looks at us, all He sees is His Son as well.

 

 What do you think? How does being hidden in Christ change how you live?

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