Relationships

Wronged

Sometimes it seems as if the worse thing you can do is offend somebody else.

We excuse all sorts of misbehavior, but a personal offense against another person is promptly condemned and recompense demanded. We adopt this stance when it comes to our own predilections as well. When someone does something that we consider a personal affront, we are quick to seek restitution.

While this may be natural, it is certainly not biblical. Contrary to our viewpoint, Scripture is quick to command us to look past personal offenses. In fact Proverbs 19:11 says that it is to a person’s own glory to overlook a wrong committed against them. When we are offended we are quick to demand an apology, or to talk about the injustice with our friends, but Scripture indicates that instead we should be quick to forget it; our focus should be on reconciliation not retribution.

It’s a theme that is prevalent throughout Scripture. We see echoes of it in Jesus’ response to Peter regarding how many times we should forgive. Essentially Jesus tells Peter to keep on forgiving, regardless of the personal cost or the miscarriage of justice. In I Corinthians 6 we see this concern again when Paul rebukes the church at Corinth for bringing lawsuits against one another. As Paul rightly questions them “Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded?” Paul knows that there are worse things than being at the losing end of a business deal could bad. If my focus is heavenward, my concern won’t be on the personal cost to me, but on how my actions could compromise others’ perceptions of my Savior. With that end in mind, we would be quick to look past our personal offense.

Think of it this way – if you have ever been to England, you have probably stopped by Buckingham Palace and seen the guards. These individuals are famous for not flinching regardless of what others do to them. They look past all sorts of slights and offenses because they have a higher calling – they represent the queen. Christians represent the King of Kings – how much more so should we look past ills committed against us for the sake of our Savior’s reputation?

It’s tempting to respond to such a directive with all the examples of instances when we can’t look past an offense. And it’s wise to acknowledge that there are times, and Matthew 18 tells us how these situations should be addressed. But instead of looking for when we can’t put this in practice, we would be prudent to focus on all the times when we can – and get busy at doing it. After all, our Lord withstood the greatest offense of all times for our sake; we can certainly endure being wronged for His.

 

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Growth

The Sanctity of Silence

In marketing, we talk a lot about “noise.” Noise is anything that distracts the intended audience from hearing the message, and as you can probably guess, we live in a very noisy world. Not only are people bombarded by a variety of different messages, creating noise through the sheer preponderance of different communications, but there are so many other distractions that keep people from listening. The cell phone ring, the email bing, and traffic on the freeway can all be causes of noise. It is hard to get a word in edgewise.

Yet I find that even though it’s difficult, I still manage to do so. Despite the distractions and disruptions, I still spend a significant part of my day talking. Set aside the fact that as a professor talking is a critical part of my job, and I’m still using thousands upon thousands of words a day. And I’ve come to realize that I probably should be using a few less.

Here’s why. I’ve learned that the more I talk, the more likely I am to sin. I understand that may sound odd, but think about it – most of the subtle sins that creep into our lives have to do with the use of our tongue. Whether it’s the telling of “white” lies (there is no such thing in God’s eyes), the cruel comeback to make ourselves look good while belittling another, or the juicy bit of gossip we just have to pass along – our mouths get us into all sorts of trouble. Most of the time if we weren’t so quick to jump in with what we wanted to say, we could avoid that sin altogether.

It’s probably why the Bible spends such a considerable amount of time warning us about our tongue. James talks about it extensively, as does Proverbs. In fact, Proverbs makes it very clear that the less we talk, the more we are likely to avoid sin when it states, ” When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise” (Proverbs 10:19, NIV).

What I’ve further realize is that this shouldn’t come as a surprise. After all, as a follower of God my goal is to be more like Him. And how many times have you heard someone wish that God would speak more?  It’s possible that He is speaking and they’re just not listening, but it also may be because God is going to use His words wisely  and therefore, He doesn’t have to use too many of them. It may seem like He’s silent because in comparison to us, He is. But we should be striving to be more like Him, not wishing for Him to be more like us, and we would be wise to respond accordingly.

After all, a little less noise would probably be a good thing and  less sin definitely would be.

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