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For previous posts in this series on hospitality, please click here and here. 

It is a common for me to hear that people want to be more hospitable. When people desire to be more open to hosting people in their home, but then fail to follow through, one of the most common reasons is that they aren’t sure they can “pull it off.” Usually, this means that they have invented unlikely scenarios in their head, and they haven’t quite figured out how they will deal with them if they should occur. Generally speaking, I find that this is code for – “but what will people do when they are at my house?” In other words, there seems to be some concern that even if the meal is prepped, and the house is cleaned, that upon arrival, people will be at a lost for how to make sure that the time together is a success. Here are a few things that I have found helpful to maximize the moments when we open the doors of our home:

Invest in Fun Games

Maybe it is the type of people I hang out with, but I have never met someone who doesn’t enjoy a good board game. In our house, we have a variety of games for various skills and age levels. They have proven to be an easy way to continue the fellowship that comes after the meal, and as I previously wrote about, playing a board game with someone can give you insight into their personality and character that you otherwise might not have. Try to choose games that won’t take hours to play (i.e. avoid Monopoly, Risk, or Axis and Allies), and try to find games that, if they are interested, kids can join in and play too. If games are relatively simple to explain, but still contain an element of strategy or purposefulness, even better. Board games are a minimal investment, but they can pay big dividends in making your hospitality efforts effective.

If you have an outside space, you may consider investing in some outdoor activities too. This past summer we bought a bunch of easy-to-fill water balloons and had great fun having impromptu water balloon fights when we would invite people over to visit. A few soccer balls or a basketball hoop can go a long way to entertaining people as well. I don’t know what specifically will work for you, but if you are intentional about using some of the resources that God has given you to buy activities that guests can enjoy, I can almost guarantee it will make the time you spend hosting, and the time your guests spend visiting, more memorable.

Let Others Participate

Often when we invite people over to our home, we think that we have to pull all the details together ourselves. When people ask if there is something that they can bring, we quickly say “nothing” – either because we want to have sole command of the gathering or because we haven’t figured out yet what the plan is. Fight this tendency. People like to contribute and by letting them, you are actually creating a more welcoming environment for them because in letting them help, you are treating them like family. If you don’t have a meal planned yet, let them bring something that goes with almost anything. Even if I don’t know what I’m serving, I can tell people who ask that they can bring a salad or a dessert. If kids are coming, you can give your guests the option of bringing juice boxes for them to enjoy. These are relatively easy items for others to bring if they are the type who will make a quick trip to the store. If they are an elaborate chef who enjoys presentation – they can pursue those endeavors with both the salad and the dessert. However they approach it, your willingness to let them contribute will make them feel more at ease, and will go a long way to building genuine relationships.

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

If you are going to commit to be more hospitable, there are probably a lot of “ideals” that you are going to have to relinquish. For example – we often use paper goods in our house when we are hosting other people. This certainly isn’t the fanciest, but I have yet to hear a complaint, and I know that using paper goods makes clean-up afterwards easier, thus increasing the likelihood that I will be ready and willing to host again soon. I have also never had someone inspect my carpets or my counters to make sure that they are clean enough to eat off of. This isn’t to say that I throw all preparation out the window (if you happen to come over, do not fear – we will clean!) – but I try to major on what is most important, and not worry about the things that are inconsequential. A stressed host doesn’t make for a good host. And the more I enjoy the time spent with friends in my home, the most likely that they will too.

It’s Not Your Home

Lastly, one of the most important tips I can give you is to remember that the house in which you host people is not your home. First and foremost, if you are a child of God, then Heaven is your home. All your time and effort here should be focused on making a difference that will last in Eternity. Therefore, the inconveniences and challenges that come with hosting should pale in comparison to the fact that God may use the open doors of your house to open the doors of people’s hearts to a deeper, more sanctified relationship with Him. What matters therefore is not how much you plan the menu or the activities, but how intentional you are about using the time inside the walls where you reside to point people to Him.

There is another way that our house is not our home; the place where we live, like all good gifts, comes from God (James 1:17). It is rightly His – we are just stewarding it for however long He desires. Therefore, our mindset shouldn’t be whether we “feel” like having people over, but whether God has called to do so. If He has, than as obedient children, we should. Not because of the benefits accrued to us (although there are many), but because we long to please our Heavenly Father and to use whatever He has granted us to bring Him glory and praise.

Recently I shared some tips for preparing our hearts towards hospitality. As we anticipate welcoming people into our home it is helpful to remember the many benefits that can be accrued from this endeavor. It is a sacrifice to open our doors to other people, but it is a sacrifice that can honor God and bless those around us.

Some of us may be quick to agree that hospitality is good, and we may even be eager to claim some of its benefits, but we don’t know where to start. Below are some practical tips for how to prepare in order to be more hospitable. Unlike many of my posts, I can’t cite chapter and verse for these things. If you want to know the biblical support for being hospitable, please go back and read the previous post! But if you are looking towards the holidays and the start of a new year and you want to increase the frequency and the intentionality with which you welcome people into your home, these things may prove helpful.

1. Keep your freezer stocked.

Of all the things I do so I can be more readily hospitable, this is probably the most effective.  If I know I have a meal in my freezer that I can easily warm up, there is very little excuse not to invite someone over. For those of you who may be more elaborate cooks this I am, this may take some flexibility and adaptability on your part. Five course meals don’t freeze well. But lasagna, enchiladas, and many other things do! Remember – you are not inviting people over to impress them with your cooking skills – or at least you shouldn’t be. You are opening the doors of your home in order to be a blessing to someone else. If you keep a meal on-hand at all times, you will be primed to be this blessing at any moment.

2. Have easy recipes that feed a crowd.

The counterpart to the previous suggestion is that sometimes, even with the best of intentions, you won’t have a meal ready or you won’t have a big enough meal to feed the number of people that you want to spontaneously invite. In this case, you need a couple go-to recipes for which you always have the ingredients. Tacos is one of these meals for our family. It doesn’t take a lot of time or preparation to make tacos as long as you have everything on hand. (Another advantage of tacos is that they are easily customizable for each eater’s preferences. You don’t need a repertoire of elaborate recipes. You need a few that are in the regular rotation that you can commit to always having the supplies. Again – the goal here isn’t to provide a restaurant experience – there are restaurants for that. The goal is to serve other people and to invest in them for Kingdom purposes.

3. Put it on the calendar

Where I have most often seen the failure of good intentions when it comes to hospitality is in the actual planning of it. We are quick to say, “we should get together sometime,” or “we’d love to have you over.” If I find myself saying or texting this, I try to discipline myself to either ask for dates, or to suggest some specific times we have available. This isn’t to be pushy (although you will have to ask those we have hosted to find out if they have thought it was!); without scheduling the time, it is easy for the invitation to always be an idea and not an actuality. Even if the date needs to be changed later one, you are more likely to do so if it is scheduled in the first place. Try to avoid vague invites. Be specific – the most proactive you are about scheduling, the more likely that it will actually happen.

4. Keep it in the family

If you read my previous post on hospitality, it may not surprise you to learn that, as often as possible, you invite the whole family. There may be times that you need to schedule time with just your adult counterparts. But as often as possible, include the kids in the invitation. This is not only good for your kids, as I previously mentioned, but it is going to make it easier for your guests to accept. Plus, you will get to know them more if you not only see how the interact with you, but you also get to witness their family dynamics. Your floors may get a little dirtier, and you may have to spend a few more minutes cleaning up when everyone is gone, but in the long run, it is worth it.

It Starts With a Plan

As someone who is organized and likes to prepare, one of the biggest hurdles to being hospitable is that I frequently felt like I wasn’t prepared. However, now I just plan that I will have people over at some point, even if I don’t know the date or the time. I expect that we are going to want to issue an invitation, and if so, I know that whether that invite is for today or in a week, I will be prepared for guests. This is a game changer. It means that the foundation for hosting is already in place, even before the invite is issued. All I need to do next, is actually host people. In a future post, we will discuss some tips for doing that. In the meantime, stock up that freezer and schedule a time to get together with that person you have been meaning to reach out to, and just haven’t done so yet!